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Arrogance Abounds « OK, Get Serious!
Browsing articles in "Arrogance Abounds"
Feb 4, 2012
OK Get Serious Admin

“Flat chested and nice tushy?” – Atlanta Craigslist, 02/04/2012

Herbert the Pervert

Age: 50
Category: Men Seeking Women

“You are my dream girl! It’s funny how friends are always attracted to women with big boobs. Not me! I like small with a nice derriere. I’m not a pervert, not on the sex offenders list, nor have I ever been convicted of a crime. I am just a man who knows what he likes! I am divorced, handsome (if I do say so myself), successful, and confident. If you are younger than I am it is a big plus.”

Ladies, ladies! Single file line. Try to control yourself. Calm down! I’m sure he’ll find time for all of you. Not all at once! God. Take it easy.

Nov 28, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“*** hot guy ** Super Handsome ***” – Dallas Craigslist, 11/28/2011

Art of Arrogance

Category: Men seeking women
Age: 27

“Hey ladies….well known handsome guy here for new Peeps to get to kno…if u like call or text… # two one four…..four zero seven….<hidden> <to> <protect> <dumbass>……name (censored) …..I writes books..Google “**** ****”…..by (censored)”

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I’m pretty sure that’s how Dostoyevsky got girls. You know, by telling them “I writes books.”

Nov 28, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“Take me to Harrahs now!!” – Philadelphia Craigslist, 11/28/2011

Crazy Woman with Cards

Category: Women seeking men
Age: 31

“I want to use your money at Harrahs chester now…voluptuous young woman looking for older man to spoil me now….your money”

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Did I mention that I want to use your money? Your money. Money. Yours.

Oct 2, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“Any normal woman out there?” – Chicago Craigslist, 10/02/2011

Picky pathetic guy

Age: 29
Category: Men seeking women

“Why cant I meet a normal date for once. Below is the great luck ive been having

1) First girl went through my phone while I went to bathroom (first date)
2) Another date said omg once every minute
3) Most recent date turns out to be of those I found jesus, jesus saved my life, etc type person which is fine but just not for me (After 1st date and becoming fb friends)
Are their any cute single normal women out there? Or do I need to turn gay?

Please sum up a bad date in the subject to get my attention. Also say go bears in the body of the email :)”

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Summary: A date with you, you sad and pathetic man who tries to get a date by bitching about your other ones. Women are going to LOVE that. Moron.

Oh…go Bears.

Jan 28, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“My Mr. RIGHT !!” – Chicago Craigslist, 01/28/2011

snobby rich bitchAge: 45
Category: Women seeking men

“I would like in my best friend, someone who can be soft spoken but manly. Also a man who likes to go for long walk and takes good care of himself (works out, ect). I would like a man at least 5’10 with gray, black or brown hair, brown or green eyes, nice teeth, and Very successful …. please no blue collars here!!!!!! I enjoy a night out for a nice dinner and a movie perhaps but ultimately I love staying home and enjoying each others company. Please no smokers … I do love being intimate …. a man that is Age 49 to 59 years young… marriage being something that I see in my future. I know what I want and I want what I say so if you have these to offer then please reply…. I am 5’7, 127 lb blonde hair ,brown eyes, very attractive, well traveled and a little spoiled Well alot but very kind 😉 If you think you could be the object of my affection, I will be happy to share more of myself with you. I am looking to be discrete. Please only successful men respond …Thank you”

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I’m not sure what annoys me more: Your overuse of ellipses, your use of six exclamation points to deliver your “no blue collar guys” message, your inability to spell “discreet,” (considering “discrete” means two things that are separate, and I’m pretty sure you didn’t mean that) or your spoiled bitch attitude. Yeah, probably that last one. And why are you looking for discretion? Is your current boyfriend not buying you enough jewelry or taking you on lavish vacations, you arrogant gold-digging lowlife? Maybe if you were 25 you could pull this over on some guy who was all over the pay-to-play with a nubile young thing. But you’re 45, sister. Enjoy the rest of your life in your glitzy penthouse condo with your Persian cat and your snobby friends as your only company. Have a nice day.

Jan 24, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“Bored husband looking for fun” – London Craigslist, 01/24/2011

bored businessmanAge: 39
Category: Men seeking women

“Good looking professional man with great career but very boring wife needs intellectual, emotional and physical stimulation. Marriage is on the rocks, so I am looking for someone better. You should be age 25-35, attractive, slim, preferably not too tall, and most importantly interesting and educated. You can be single or married, but be aware that discretion will be required. Let’s explore London together and if we hit it off who knows? Looking forward to the most creative replies.”

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Because the lack of excitement in your life is your boring wife’s fault, not because you’re a fucking idiot.

Seriously? You’re not only advertising that you’re cheating, but you have a long list of your requirements for your mistress?

Your level of arrogance is matched only by your callousness. I hope your wife finds out and does the Wilma-Flinstone-style kick out, which will be fitting, since you’re a neanderthal.

Jan 17, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“does love exist?” – Chicago Craigslist, 01/17/2011

Gold Digging Shallow GirlAge: Not given
Category: Casual encounters, women seeking men

“What does a girl have to do these days to get spoiled! The fact is I am NOT a gold digger, I have expectations of how I should be treated and I love being spoiled. Just that simple.I know there are men out there who love to spoil, financially and emotionally.I open to all ages and races, I just want to have FUN make you happy and be spoiled thats it!You like thin woman with dark hair and a pretty face with a great smile, who is stylish and clean.”

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The FACT is that you are not a gold digger? You expect to be spoiled financially in exchange for “making me happy” (and we all know what that means), so what does that make you? Oh yeah, a prostitute. What’s your address? I’ll send some boys with radios and handcuffs to “spoil” you for 6 months at a state facility.

Dec 4, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Let’s Make A Baby” – Orlando Craigslist, 12/04/2010

Age: 42
Category: Men Seeking Women

“Looking for a women who would like to have a baby. Only serious replies. Let’s exchange pictures and information. Very intelligent, financially secure and handsome male here with athletic build. “

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I’m very intelligent. I don’t want a baby, but I’ll seduce you with the idea of money and having a baby because I know you’re vulnerable and I want to cavalierly knock you up. When your kid grows up and asks about dad, you can tell him you spread your legs for cash, but you’re not a prostitute because the rich guy (or so he said) didn’t give you any. It will be a proud moment in that kid’s life.

Nov 10, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“I give you a no bs guarantee” – Chicago Craigslist, 11/10/2010

Age: 29
Category: Men Seeking Women

————————————————————————————
NOTE FROM YOUR FRIENDLY SITE ADMIN: I know this post is long, but I felt the need to include the original online dating ad in its entirety in order to fully demonstrate what an asshole this guy is. He also posted his picture. He’s an average-looking guy with a full beard and glasses; looks kind of like a slimmer, slightly better looking version of Zach Galifianakis (“Due Date,” “The Hangover”).
————————————————————————————

“Through my dealings with the fairer sex throughout my life, I have become completely disillusioned with females (all people really, but I’m not trying to date guys) and have now resorted to the internet in an effort to find one that I can at least tolerate for extended periods of time.

You want to know about me? I’ll tell you what I’m not.

1) I am not your father. I will not tolerate childish bullshit when you don’t get your way and I will not throw money at you to shut you up.

2) I am not your hobby. That’s why you have friends. This road goes both ways though, and you’re not expected to join me on any trips you don’t want to. I’ve got friends for that too.

3) I am not someone who puts the toilet seat down after I urinate. You’re a big girl now and if you can’t be bothered to so much as look at where you’re about to park your ass, you deserve the cold embrace of toilet water (and god help anyone around you on the road).

Here’s where we get to you. As a staunch rationalist, I realize you’re probably every bit as bitter with men as I am with your cunty compatriots, possibly having almost given up on us. My (admittedly weak) theory is you have not yet lost all hope but have simply turned to a less social lifestyle and are casually perusing the Craigslist personals just waiting for my ad to pop up so we can end our days in perpetual bliss or whatever storybook bullshit those cookie cutter girls get off on.

I am not an extremely picky guy. Being my dream girl is more a matter of the things you aren’t than the things you are.

My ideal woman

-when asked about her hobbies, has more to say than, “Like, you know, stuff,” or the always popular “shopping, hanging out, music, friends.”

-can think outside her own head and understand that while her wants and needs are her priority (and there’s nothing wrong with that), those around her have their own desires.

-takes care of herself to some degree. We can’t help certain aspects of our appearance, but if you don’t bathe regularly and have eaten yourself fat it demonstrates a fatal lack of respect for yourself that one would expect to bleed into other aspects of your behavior.

If you’ve read this much crap and are actually interested, we might just stand a chance. Send me an email that makes me think, laugh, or hope.

For the love of a God in which I don’t even believe, just someone show me you’re not all the same.”

#############

Sir, you are a douchebag. Let me count the ways.

1.) Hey dude, here’s a newsflash for you: Your outcomes are the result of your own behavior and choices. If you’re disappointed with your dating and relationship experiences with females – and it sounds like it is a pattern – guess what the one common denominator is? YOU, fuckwad.

2.) If you’re trying to make some sort of statement by telling her you’re not going to put the toilet seat down, you are. You’re saying “I’m the type of guy who would rather argue rights and virtues over stupid petty garbage than actually be a gentleman and do something painless that takes me an extra 3 seconds.”

3.) You are already the type of person who is disillusioned not only with women, but people in general. Yeah, women find that REAL attractive. Every girl wants to date “Don Rickles, The Sequel.” Moron. Actually, they’d probably rather date Don Rickles. He’s funny. And rich, and will die sooner than you.

4.) Call me crazy, but calling your potential date’s friends or even acquaintances “cunty compatriates” is probably not going to win hearts and minds. Or the object of your chosen adjective, for that matter.

5.) You sound like you need to get laid. Hopefully by a really offended and angry woman who fakes her way into your bedroom with false compliments and interest, then proceeds to tie you down, call you degrading names and invade your ass with a punishing, oversized dildo. But then again, you might like that, at least she wouldn’t be your typical girl, right?

6.) This is not related to any particular point of your ad, but your whole ad and most likely the rest of your life: YOU. ARE. AN. ASSWIPE.

Oct 31, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Seriously, this is it?” – Chicago Craigslist (Northwest Indiana), 10/31/2010

Snobby Girls

Age: 25
Category: Women Seeking Men

“I know that I am a great girl. I am tired of wasting my time. I am wanting to find someone that is caring, a hard worker, funny, outgoing, attractive, that doesn’t live 100 miles away. Must be single and white between the ages of 27 to 33. I am not really into partying, so if this is your thing don’t bother. If you don’t have a job or any prospects don’t bother either. Email me, and we will see.”

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Hey, if you don’t want a good guy to live 100 miles away, I have an idea for you. How about NOT MOVING TO FREAKING NORTHWEST INDIANA?

So, let’s see…you have a “between 27 and 33” age requirement, the guy has to be white bread, can’t like to party and needs to have a great job, presumably to support your arrogant ass.

“Email me and we will see”……..? Seriously? You THINK you are a great girl. You are the epitome of high maintenance bitchiness, capital HMB. You’re not interviewing lackies for some remedial job, you’re trying to find someone with whom to build a relationship. With an attitude like yours, you better hope for a self-loathing, subservient wussbag. There’s a thought…ever consider the dominatrix lifestyle? It sounds like your calling.

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