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Arrogance Abounds « OK, Get Serious!
Browsing articles in "Arrogance Abounds"
Oct 19, 2010
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“Hummmm” – Minneapolois Craigslist, 10/20/2010

Age: 39
Category: Men Seeking Women

“Here i am” (accompanied by 3 pics of an average looking dude in Minnesota Twins garb)

#############

Hummmm…so the fuck what?

Aug 13, 2010
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“10 Reasons to Reply” – Chicago Craigslist, 08/13/2010

Age: 37
Category: Women Seeking Men

“Ten Reasons why you should Respond to me:

Very cute
Intelligent
Down to Earth
Sexy Eyes
Great Lips
Perfect Chest
Curvy Body
Sweet
Sports Chic
A girl to date and a girl who is very flirty

Who wants to reply?”

##############

Guys who are into teases and liars. You’re either not “all that” and act like it because you’re a wannabe, or you know you’re the shit and you feel like making some guy want to sleep with you before you shut him down cold.

Jul 2, 2010
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“Lonely Married executive” – Dallas Craigslist, 07/02/2010

Age: 36
Category: Men Seeking Women

“First the sugar….
I’m a happy, fun, easy going married unsatisfied man looking for new romance. To experience those butterflies you first get when you meant someone special.
Now the spice…
Looking for a discrete romantic and passionate affair.
And everything nice.
I’m kind, sensitive, smart, funny, open minded and adventurous. I am successful, higly educated Asian guy in a executive busy job with a Phd.
No really good way to write an add like this except – perhaps – to be truthful.
I’m been in my marriage for many years and it’s fizzled more than a little bit.
I’m looking for a White women for a whirl-wind romance who is in a similar situation. If your are single i will consider if you understand the boundaries and if you are drama free. I can help you out with an Bi-monthly allowance… Goodluck in your search.

Do write and tell me about you…”

#############

I won’t pay for therapy, but I will pay you to help me step out on my wife. I have a PhD in being an asshole.

Jul 2, 2010
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“You’d be stupid not to click on this…” – Chicago Craigslist, 07/02/2010

Age: 27
Category: Women Seeking Men

“hiiiiiii!

27 f nwi looking to meet new people in the area.

About me: I’m fun! Hardworking! Educated! No kids/Never been married. Family oriented. Won’t put up with BS. I don’t do games and I don’t appreciate someone who does. I love the outdoors, movies, concerts, the beach, WHITE SOX. I’m not looking to jump into a serious relationship right away, just living everday to its fullest and seeing what is out there. If it happens I’m not opposed to it.

You should be funny, charming, easy to talk to, fun to be around, educated, driven, ambitious, lack drama, no drugs, and hardworking.

you should not be: arrogant, overly cocky, shy, dramatic, addicted to anything, lazy, or a major D-bag.

lets see where this leads me….

#############

I’m guessing it’s going to lead you about where you’ve always gotten with your laundry list of requirements. Nowhere. Lighten up. I’m not stupid for not clicking on your ad, I’m stupid because I did click on it. There’s 30 seconds of my life I’ll never get back. At least you get brownie points for writing “oriented” instead of “orientated.” That would have been the icing on the cake.

Jun 25, 2010
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“a princess in need of spoiling” – Chicago Craigslist, 06/24/2010

Age: 22
Category: Women Seeking Men

“I want to be spoiled rotten
I need a gentleman who is willing to take me out for lunch or dinner, shopping, outdoor activities, a club maybe? um I just want a fun day
someone who is nice and does not expect anything in return.
im nice, sweet, fun, pretty you wont regret hanging out with me 😉
email me if you want to know more about me or would like to see pictures of me
thanks!”

#############

I grew up with a sense of entitlement but never earned a thing in my life. Be a nice guy. Shower me with material things. I will give you nothing back. You won’t regret hanging out with me. I’m amazingly hot and you can’t fuck me, but I’m telling you, you won’t regret that. Why do you look frustrated? Ooooohhh look, shiny earrings. Buy me those. Hey, aren’t you lucky you get to spend time with a pretty girl draining your bank account? God, mom would be so proud. Yours or mine, take your pick.

Jun 24, 2010
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“Write me a poem” – Chicago Craigslist, 06/24/2010

Age: 27
Category: Women Seeking Men

“Write me a poem or send me one that has already been written. I’m a literary type of a girl and I love poetry that makes me think.”

#############

There once was a woman on Craigslist
Who hoped for words that were ageless
She looked for a poet
But she should have known it
The crap she received would be heinous.

Jun 24, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Do you match this description??” – Madison Craigslist, 06/17/2010

Age: 45
Category: Women Seeking Men

“Hi, this is so much harder than I thought it would be. I am hoping to meet a kind man that meets the following criteria:

He will be:
between 40-50 years of age, non-smoker, social drinker only, rarely swears
Has a good job/career and is financially stable
Mentally stable
Around 6 feet or taller
Stocky build but not HUGE
Practice good hygiene – brush your teeth, shower daily, use deodorant and wear cologne once in a while
Positive attitude – loves to laugh, goof around
Family-oriented but does not want more children
Has many interests that he would like to share with me (and I with him)
Will attend church occasionally with me
Likes the arts/music
Has goals/dreams
Is a TRUE gentleman -can you define that????
One-woman-man
Is huggable and has a very affecionate side
Will treat me like a queen (and I will treat him as a King)
Loves to travel
Will respect and trust me
Knows how to communicate (I’m serious)
Wants to share the rest of his life with his best friend (ME)
We will be 80 years old and still holding hands…..

#############

….because that’s how old she’s going to be before she can find anyone who meets her criteria.

How much do you want to bet this 45-year-old already looks like a 65-year-old?

Dear “so much harder, ” look in the mirror. Unless you’re completely hot, look younger than your age, can support yourself, can talk about the details of what is going on with your favorite football team, are completely calm & collected & never freak out over stupid things, have the ability to intelligently discuss world events, wear sexy clothes often just for me, cook incredible food, can juggle 6 bowling pins using your hands and feet, and give the world’s best blowjobs on demand…then shut the hell up.

Of course it’s harder than you thought it would be, mein fuehrer! Sig heil!

Yeesh.

Jun 22, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“For All the Right Reasons” – Chicago Craigslist 06/22/2010

Age: 37
Category: Women Seeking Men

“When when about how i wanted my life to be, it it wasnt like this. But as the saying goes it is what it is and I cant look back.

I’m thirty nine, currently getting a divorce, and I have a 3 year old daughter. I’m a bigger woman but look good, I go to the Y almost every day and I love the outdoors. I am educated, I have a degree in business management and one in Accounting. I love cats, art, and I love to travel. I like country music and tats.

Tell me a about urself, send a pic, maybe we can do dinner someday. I promise I’m real u b too!

PLEASE READ CAREFULLY:: I WILL NOT SLEEP WITH YOU! I WILL NOT SLEEP WITH YOU! and no you can not come to my house to “hang”. If sex is your intention then do not emailing me because ur feelings will get hurt.”

############

I’m a fatass who isn’t even through my divorce yet and I’m already looking for a new guy to make me feel better about myself. I will probably introduce my 3-year-old daughter to every new guy I meet. I love cats. If I ever go through with my divorce and live on my own, I will have eighteen of them. They will run around my cluttered 1-bedroom apartment that smells of an overdue cat litter change and mold. I’m in my late 30’s and I spell like a teenage texting champion, “ur, urself, u b.” I WILL NOT SLEEP WITH YOU! I WILL NOT SLEEP WITH YOU! Yeah, um, not because you asked or because you’re going to. Because I think I’m all that. And, you know, being a sexy 40 year old with 6 chins, a husband and a 3-year-old I really gotta fight ’em off these days.

Jun 22, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“My Life Sucks” – Chicago Craigslist 06/22/2010

Age: Not given
Category: Women Seeking Men

“Need someone to help me get my mind off things. I DO NOT want something sexual just a friend to get to know and talk to,we can meet too.

Be 18-22 and somewhat attractive.

Thanks.”

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Take my mind off things. Don’t fuck me, just make me feel better. Oh, but be attractive. You gotta look good. But you know, no sex for you. Be my eye candy, stroke my ego and take care of your blue balls on your own time.

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