Warning: strpos() expects parameter 1 to be string, object given in /home/serious/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 4147

Warning: strpos() expects parameter 1 to be string, object given in /home/serious/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 4147

Warning: strpos() expects parameter 1 to be string, object given in /home/serious/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 4147
General Dating Ad Reviews « OK, Get Serious!
Browsing articles in "General Dating Ad Reviews"
Jun 23, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Y IS IT SO HARD” – Chicago Craigslist 06/22/2010

Age: 23
Category: Casual Encounters (man seeking woman)

“Y is it so hard 2 find a girl that can chill and hav fun on these sites maybe sex aftr we get 2 kno each other I’m 23 Ima chef an nice thas it well talk if ur a big girl cool don b obese tho send a pic IM REAL NO SPAM an thas it”

#############

That’s what SHE said! Wait…no she didn’t.

Maybe your inability to fully spell out the word “why,” your sub-1st grade grammar skills, run-on sentences and schizophrenic requirements have something to do with it. Please, please sir, don’t procreate. You know those nature documentaries where the weak animal in the herd gets left behind and eaten by lions? Yeah, that’s you.

Jun 22, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“ANY ROMANTIC GUY?” – Chicago Craigslist, 06/22/2010

Age: 28
Category: Women Seeking Men

“SINGLE LADY SEEKING ROMANTIC , HONEST, FAITHFUL LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP. ANY ROMANTIC GUY STILL ALIVE? PLEASE REPLY WITH A PIC AND LET START SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL.”

#############

Like spelling lessons. And practicing how to turn “Caps Lock” off.

Jun 22, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“BBW Available for WEDNESDAY” – Chicago Craigslist, 06/22/2010

Age: 40
Category: Casual Encounters

“Smaller BBW who is searching for some fun on Wednesday. YOU must host, prefer a hotel!!!!

Looking for daddy’s little girl to show up and catch him naked. Daddy’s “manhood” standing at attention, and his little girl gets surprised; intrigued and takes direction from daddy to make him very happy. Doing things mommy won’t do for him……”Daddy do you like your little girls new 38DD implants” Mommy won’t let you do that will she? Well your little girl will.

YOU must provide a pic first, YOU must host. YOU must have at least 7+ inches, prefer smooth/shaved, MUST be WHITE (no latino’s sorry)”

#############

I can’t spell YOU without spelling it in all caps. YOU got it?

I’m a smaller BBW, sort of like military intelligence, fast idle or governmental efficiency. Get the oxy, moron?

I want to pretend I’m a little girl…with 38DD implants.

I like incest and pedophiles. But don’t be Mexican, because that’s gross.

Jun 22, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Sometimes I just sit around without my shirt” – New York Craigslist, 06/22/2010

Age: 33
Category: Men Seeking Women

“Other times I’ll watch TV, clean and organize without my shirt. Occasionally, I will look out my window only to find shirted people. Then I go back to just sitting around without my shirt.

I guess I’m looking for women who could appreciate me without a shirt. Not get jealous when I do wear a shirt, or get suspicious when I’m wearing a different shirt.

If you’re interesting in all that other boring stuff, I am all of the following: 33, quite witty, successful with a job that allows me to buy expensive shirts that I try not to wear…..

#############

Yes, yes I’m quite witty. Quite. What?

I’m still trying to figure out if this guy is kidding. You know, because he’s witty.

Jun 22, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Where Are All the Good Men?” – Chicago Craigslist, 06/22/2010

Age: 48
Category: Women Seeking Men

“Needing a sensual, generous man my age who is looking for a freind and companion……I love company and enjoy being pampered with things tangable and intangable…looking for a mutual relationship-hit me with and e-mail titled ‘Generous’ “

############

I’m pushing fifty. Buy me things and you can have sex with my wrinkly ass.

Jun 22, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“For All the Right Reasons” – Chicago Craigslist 06/22/2010

Age: 37
Category: Women Seeking Men

“When when about how i wanted my life to be, it it wasnt like this. But as the saying goes it is what it is and I cant look back.

I’m thirty nine, currently getting a divorce, and I have a 3 year old daughter. I’m a bigger woman but look good, I go to the Y almost every day and I love the outdoors. I am educated, I have a degree in business management and one in Accounting. I love cats, art, and I love to travel. I like country music and tats.

Tell me a about urself, send a pic, maybe we can do dinner someday. I promise I’m real u b too!

PLEASE READ CAREFULLY:: I WILL NOT SLEEP WITH YOU! I WILL NOT SLEEP WITH YOU! and no you can not come to my house to “hang”. If sex is your intention then do not emailing me because ur feelings will get hurt.”

############

I’m a fatass who isn’t even through my divorce yet and I’m already looking for a new guy to make me feel better about myself. I will probably introduce my 3-year-old daughter to every new guy I meet. I love cats. If I ever go through with my divorce and live on my own, I will have eighteen of them. They will run around my cluttered 1-bedroom apartment that smells of an overdue cat litter change and mold. I’m in my late 30’s and I spell like a teenage texting champion, “ur, urself, u b.” I WILL NOT SLEEP WITH YOU! I WILL NOT SLEEP WITH YOU! Yeah, um, not because you asked or because you’re going to. Because I think I’m all that. And, you know, being a sexy 40 year old with 6 chins, a husband and a 3-year-old I really gotta fight ’em off these days.

Jun 22, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“My Life Sucks” – Chicago Craigslist 06/22/2010

Age: Not given
Category: Women Seeking Men

“Need someone to help me get my mind off things. I DO NOT want something sexual just a friend to get to know and talk to,we can meet too.

Be 18-22 and somewhat attractive.

Thanks.”

###########

Take my mind off things. Don’t fuck me, just make me feel better. Oh, but be attractive. You gotta look good. But you know, no sex for you. Be my eye candy, stroke my ego and take care of your blue balls on your own time.

Jun 22, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Younger for Older” – Chicago Craigslist 06/22/2010

Age: Not given
Category: Women Seeking Men

“I doubt this will yield the desired relationship, but here goes.

I’m hoping to find the professor mentor type. Salt & pepper hair but not balding, decent shape but not great, shy at first but very secure with who you are. You’re 60ish, and don’t act like you’re 30ish. You also aren’t looking for arm candy. You like art, music, plays, great wine and exotic food. Along those lines I like modern art, don’t like the Monet exhibit, love photography. Like Chopin and Bach. Drink Beaujolais Nuevo and red zin. Love sushi and am developing a taste for Indian cuisine.

You want to watch me experience new things and experience them with me as if it were your first time. I should add at this time that I don’t intend for you to pay for all of this. I can support my lifestyle in spurts and don’t plan to spend anyone’s money going out all the time. I would love to grab a bottle of wine or great beer, go back to your place and try to roll sushi, perfect that curry, or just throw burgers on the grill.

We will discuss everything you want to. If I don’t have an opinion, give me a few days to read up on whatever it is, and I will form one. I am more into philosophy, psychology, and spirituality, than I am into politics and current events. I’m trying not to pay attention the whole BP thing. But if you want to get into Lady GaGa, I will show you some great sites to download music.

I want this to develop into an intimate relationship, but slowly. And most likely this will not last. We will remain friends, but know our families and friends would never accept it. You will want to protect me from myself and dry my tears when I’m sad. I will equally try to protect you from caring about me too much.

Lastly I am black and odds are that you are white. While this may intrigue you, you will soon see past it.
We will develop one of those ‘I wish I met you 30 years ago’ relationships. “

############

Whoa. Somebody has daddy issues. Or masochistic tendencies. Or both.

You are setting yourself up for a relationship that won’t work, and you admit as much in your ad. The only benefit you will get from this is potentially falling in love, knowing it will never work, and then regretting a love lost.

Do yourself a favor, don’t torture yourself. Find someone with whom you have all those things you can share like love of art, music and good food…and who you don’t have to kick to the curb over family and social awkwardness, or who won’t have a grabber the first time you ride him cowgirl.

Why would anyone WANT a “wish I had met you 30 years ago” relationship? That would be an absolute heartbreaker. The only older guy (or girl) you should be seeing is a therapist to see why you actually formulate elaborate plans to beat yourself up.

Jun 22, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

Welcome to Hell, Lovebirds.

None of you are safe. I’ve dated enough to see through your BS, your ego, your ridiculous list of standards for a partner, your arrogance and insecurity. This site is not for the faint of heart. I’m not going to be politically correct. If you don’t like it, don’t read it…you’ve been warned.

The majority of these dating ad reviews will come from Craigslist ads, but I will throw in ads from other sites when I feel like it. Because it’s my site and I get to be as random as I wanna be.

All my dickishness aside, I’m glad you’re here at the site. If you’re older and more experienced, you may have a laugh or two. If you’re younger, maybe I’ll save you from a bad relationship, a completely-wrong-for-you guy or girl…or yourself.

Pages:«1...56789101112

Feed Miss Milky

Categories

Posts by Month