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General Dating Ad Reviews « OK, Get Serious!
Browsing articles in "General Dating Ad Reviews"
Mar 21, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“trust me!!!” – Phoenix Craigslist, 03/20/2011

creepy craigslist stalkerAge: 22
Category: Men seeking women

“send ur pic im waiting”

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I’m (twitch) waiting (twitch)…waiting…(twitch twitch twitch) I’M NOT A PSYCHO (twitch)

Mar 12, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“Understanding How Men Think” – Your-Personal-Relationship-Advice.com Blog, 03/12/2011

How to Understand the Way Men ThinkAge: All
Category: Relationship Advice

This is my response to the blog post / article Understanding How Men Think by @Love_Aid. I want to preface my response by acknowledging that all the bold advice text belongs to and is copyrighted by @Love_Aid. I’m weighing in on it because, well…I’m a man.

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– Men are crazy about the smile of a woman. True. A nice, genuine smile – especially accompanied by smiling eyes (a little crinkle, dancing pupils for lack of better words) – is something that sets us more at ease. It’s not necessarily a physical attraction thing, but it makes us feel more comfortable with you and less like you’re doing a background check in your head.

– A man would do anything to make you notice him. False. A boy would do anything to make you notice him. A man is confident enough to know that he’s worth noticing, and that if you don’t, someone else will. In fact, a man that goes out of his way to do things that are really nice and romantic but does them too soon is the guy most likely to end up in the “friend zone.”

– Men hate it when you talk to them about your past relationships or ex boyfriend. Both true and false. It’s never more true than on the first few dates, or before you’ve slept together. But if we know that you’re really with us and no one else, if an ex is brought up once in awhile it’s not always bad. If you keep bringing up things that he did well or that you loved about him on a regular basis, yeah, that will irritate us. If you tell us you’re having an emotional or irrational reaction to a situation that’s sparked by an experience with an ex, that actually helps us understand you better and we appreciate it.

The man that loves you would like to be the only one that you talk with. False. So, so totally wrong I can’t even express how wrong it is. We know you have guy friends, and we have friends that are women also. Sometimes either men or women may have remained friends with an ex, but this doesn’t mean we’re sleeping with them. Do we want to be in the loop? Of course. But being the only person of the same gender that you talk to or have as a friend? That is a requirement of a jealous person, not a healthy one.

Your man also needs to hear, once in awhile, that you love him. True, sort of. As long as the “once in awhile” part is in there. We don’t need to hear it a lot. But we like it when you get naked with us a lot, that helps. 😉

If a man teases you, he might like you. True. Almost 100% of the time. We do joke around with female friends just like we’d joke around with male friends for the most part, although we’ll temper the vulgarity to some extent. But if he’s busting on you “a little extra” the way he might bust on his own sister, he likes you.

If a man tries to talk to you seriously, then you should listen, because it will not happen too often. True, but mercifully so. As a woman, do you really want a dude who’s serious or brooding all the time? Or do you want someone with a brain who’s also fun but can be serious when necessary? Most women I know prefer the latter, and most men prefer to be the latter. Unfortunately, as stated earlier, there are just a lot of boys out there. The boys will complain about the state of various things from politics to social etiquette to money to religion and more. Men may say and do things you don’t agree with, but they will take action, and if you’re the one he’s into, he wants you to be on the journey with him. Even at the times you don’t agree. He wants you to have a strong opinion, and maybe even argue points with you – but if he’s into you, whether he agrees or not, and whether he says so or not, he’s listening.

A man will not think less of you if you invite him out. True. But for the most part, we like to make a plan and invite you to share it with us. We don’t just want to delegate all the planning to you and then go along with everything. Well, those of us who don’t need mommy to take care of us anymore…can’t think of anything less attractive to a woman, but there are unfortunately plenty of guys like this. For your benefit, women: That is a Red Flag with a capital R. Avoid those dudes like the plague.

Have an opinion? Weigh in. Leave a comment below.

Mar 10, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“Any nudist in the area??” – Milwaukee Craigslist, 03/10/2011

Looking for a nudist in MilwaukeeAge: 35
Category: Men Seeking Women

“I’ve always wanted to try something nudist like…..such as a beach, resort, party, etc but never had the chance. To start out with i’d like to do something safe like hanging out at home w/someone testing it out before i take the big leap.  Any girls out there who can show me the ropes or help me practice? I’m a good looking guy (i’ve been told), 6ft tall, i can send a picture for apperance but i’m athletic/slender build so i think you’d be happily surprised.”

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Yeah, buddy, the girls are totally buying the “get naked at my place first so I can feel comfortable getting naked in public” approach. Points for creativity, though, no matter how transparent. Some girl you end up dating is going to put you through the paces to see if you’ll do dishes, go furniture shopping with her,  buy her flowers and remember random bizarre anniversary dates that are only important to her (“Honey, this is the anniversary of the first time we sat on my couch together, do you remember?”) before she marries you, so why not turn the tables and get her to have sex with you before you take her out anywhere? You’ve got some nads, my friend, but I wish you luck.

Mar 4, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“seeking younger women” and “looking for older women” – San Diego Craigslist, 03/04/2011

Dueling Dating Ads from the Same Dude

Dueling Dating Ads from the Same Dude

Age: 37
Category: Men Seeking Women

Ad #1: “my name is jef i’m 37 yrs old 5’8”tall from san diego, i’m looking for women who are under 35 yrs old from san diego plus include your photo. i am open to any ideas you have”

Ad #2: “i am looking for single women over 35 yrs old from san diego who are looking for anything they are interested in. please include your photo”

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We have learned three things from this ad.

1. This guy is trolling for any woman from any age group that will sleep with him. Except, of course, if you’re actually 35. That’s apparently off limits.

2. WHEN he doesn’t find someone who will sleep with him, he’s hoping he will have some new pictures on which he can ejaculate.

3. He doesn’t have the ability to make a decision, or the creativity to come up with anything to do. Even if you consider meeting him, girls, it’s you will be doing all the planning and decision making. Hot, huh?

He rapid-fire posted these ads right after one another, using the same age and same 2-sentence approach which tells you JACK about him except he’s 5′ 8″ and lazy.

Jef is interested in anyone who is interested in anything. Well, that sure narrows it the hell down, doesn’t it?

No wonder women hate dealing with male online dating ads.

Feb 26, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“really?” – Chicago Craigslist, 02/26/2011

bitchy womanAge: 30
Category: Women seeking men

“really? really? I have tried to post a few times, but I think there are people on here purposly taking down posts. Why? Thats really really really stupid. There was nothing wrong with my posts. I hope you wind up lonely and alone.”

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Immediately after reading this, I went back and flagged it as a spam/overpost repeatedly until it got taken down. I’m such a prick.

Feb 24, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“why do men judge???” – Chicago Craigslist, 02/24/2011

women with everything you desire - and a little bit moreAge: 50
Category: Women seeking men

“What is is with you men that judge a woman by her weight???? What if she had everything else you desired but that…”

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We’re afraid that in a moment of particular sexual abandon, you might end up on top.

Feb 20, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“I know there is a WOMAN for me !! Is it YOU pretty LADY ?!?!” – Atlanta Craigslist, 02/20/2011

enthusiastic man with fist in the air / anthony likes CAPITALSMy name is ANTHONY and I am looking for ROMANCEand MORE (Please dont ask for my name or what I am looking for when you hit me up becasue I just said it LOL)

I have a salary job, my own car, my own place, and no children. I am about 5’9 and love to have a good time.

If your interested then TEXT the number below. You can start with your name, location, and picture and we can go from there.

Seven 7 0 #### Seven 5 Seven #### 7 * * * (let’s save Anthony the embarrassment of actually publishing his number again, shall we?)

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What’s up, ANTHONY? I am SURE that there are WOMEN who love your kind of ENTHUSIASM and your predilection for CAPATALIZING. Until one of them MARRIES you and one day REALIZES that she’s married a male CHEERLEADER and wants to kick you in the BALL SAC.

Feb 14, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

Happy VD, bitches.

And when I say bitches, that is my affectionate nickname for all of you, men and women alike. Happy VD, people. As in Valentine’s Day. What did you think I meant?

Now I’m not going to say that Valentine’s Day was invented by Hallmark, like Sweetest Day was. What a sham Sweetest Day is.

Valentine’s Day is actually based on a real person, Saint Valentine, circa somewheres about 300 or 400 A.D. And the cause that Valentine’s Day was originally created for was to remember the beheading of Saint Valentine by Emperor Claudius II, who was pretty tweaked that Saint Valentine wouldn’t accept Paganism and continued to perform marriage ceremonies for Christian couples.

The point being, Valentine’s Day did not initially have a damn thing to do with love and romance. That all started with that fucker Chaucer. Now we have to “prove our love” by dropping cash at Hallmark and Fannie May. Thanks a lot, Geoffrey. If you were alive today, I’d punch you in the throat. Metaphorically speaking of course.

Enjoy your VD, everybody.

Feb 14, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“Fill In The Blanks” – Chicago Craigslist, 02/14/2011

champagne and flowers“Hi DWM 43yrs young standing 5″8 200lbs stocky built very attractive. Wondering if there is a lady who would love to partake in a real valentine fantasy. Ok here is the scenerio. We meet at a nice motel. I tell you the room number and then go to the room. Wear you find the door ajar. So you peek in and ask, Jack are you there. No answer. So you open the door further and see Flowers and champaign on the desk. So you slowly walk further and on the bed are strawberries and whip cream. Then suddenly I come up behind you and___ ___ ____ ____ ____? Fade to black. If your interested and normal get back to me. Thanks Jack XOX”

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“___ ___ ____ ____ ____” = “ask you for spelling lessons.”

Feb 12, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

10 of my favorite Craigslist Dating / Marriage / Cheating / Divorce Rants

Age: Any
Category: Some of my favorite Craigslist rants

Sometimes I just gotta give props to people who post dating, marriage, cheating and divorce raves on Craigslist. I’m sure some of them know they’re good writers, but I have a sneaking suspicion that others are simply venting for the purpose of having their significant other (or former significant other) find the ad – without ever realizing how brilliant they are, or how much someone else out here (namely yours truly) is enjoying their rants. Craigslist ad writers, this is dedicated to you, in no particular order. You’re all awesome.

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My cheating husband!!!
“Ok, so I just found out that you’ve been writing about 25 emails a day to one of your female colleagues, all signed with the words “with bated breath”. GREAT! You seem to have decided that bisexual vegetarians with questionable hair choices are more up your alley….” Read more…

Just fucking fuck me, already.
“Dear Men of Craigslist, Look, I know you men have it difficult. Women are just about impossible to understand, much less please. In a post-feminist society, you never know exactly what you should be doing. Women are bloody picky, I know we are. It can be scary, too, when women freak out about what appear to be benign issues. And men who do their best to be respectful, female-positive humans, I salute you, I do.  But please, please just fuck me already. Honestly, I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I like that you want to take things slow. I can totally get behind the idea of emotional connection, but dearjesusinheaven, FUCK ME. We’ve done dinner and drinks…” Read more…

An open letter to the men who post in Casual Encounters (Tips!)
“Dear Men of Craig?s List that post ads in the Casual Encounters section,
I?ve been observing and laughing and on the verge of vomiting, so I?d like to give you a few tips to increase your chances of scoring a casual encounter, here on Craig?s List. I?ll divide this up in sections:  Section 1: Photo tips , Section 2: General ad writing tips…” Read more…

You slept in my bed last night
“ME: A guy coming home to find you asleep in my bed.  YOU: Stunningly attractive blonde slightly undressed.” Read more…

Male Villain Seeking Female Arch-Enemy
“Howdy, I’m looking for a deadly vixen to do battle with on a weekly basis. We could meet in parks, rooftops, on the top of a moving train, on top of a moving truck, on top of anything really…” Read more…

We shared a cab, you hit me in the face.
“Hi! I am almost 100% positive you remember me. I was standing in the cab line for about 15 minutes in 1 degree weather, and then you and your girlfriend ran in front of me in the cab line right as my cab, that I had been waiting so long for out in the ball shivering cold, arrived. Now I admit…” Read more…

To the beautiful lady who saw me pooping…
“Me: Taking a huge poop in the l5p pizza bathroom. You: Drunk, beautiful, Discovered that I forgot to lock the door in my haste. Look, I know it must have been awkward for you to see me in that state…” Read more…

PDA couple, section 30 row 28
“Ah, what can I say? Your obvious affection for each other was clear, even in the miserable weather during a miserable game. But a couple thoughts. To the guy wearing the orange north face and a baseball cap…” Read more…

To the guy doing my wife at my house
“To the guy doing my wife. You know who you are. Yes I know. No I am not angry; I would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife. 1. Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old…” Read more…

Leduc Walmart Hottie
“You were a delicious BBW with a stained white t-shirt & a half a dozen kids in tow, I was…” Read more…

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