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General Dating Ad Reviews « OK, Get Serious!
Browsing articles in "General Dating Ad Reviews"
Dec 10, 2010
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“Looking” – Seattle Craigslist, 12/10/2010

Age: 20
Category: Men Seeking Women

“I am looking for some one to talk to. I am a english student and a writer. Please do not send me a dating add be a real person”

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Keep studying, buddy.

Dec 10, 2010
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“lets have a baby” – Seattle Craigslist, 12/09/2010

Age: 35
Category: Men Seeking Women

“i’m single, no kids, 35.
i’m looking to have a baby.
i’m black, stable and would like to have a baby without the romantic attachments.
your race does not matter”

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Dude, if the baby is your primary motivation, it’s called adoption. If you’re looking for no-strings sex just come out and say it. And I mean God forbid that the child could actually have two parents in a relationship or actually living together, there’s a stretch.

Dec 8, 2010
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“I just don’t know exactly what I want” – Los Angeles Craigslist, 12/08/2010

Age: 49
Category: Women Seeking Men

“You know how – you want or crave something, but you just can’t quiet pin point exactly who and what it is ?
That’s what I want !!!
I want a sweet and naughty, a good and a bad boy and a gentleman and wild and a nice overall guy !!!
To match my personality !!!”

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I have three responses:

1. If you’re 49 and you can’t figure out what you want, you’ve got bigger problems than getting a man.

2. It looks to me like you DO know what you want. A total schizo.

3. Match your personality? Which one, Sybil?

Dec 4, 2010
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“No title” – Chicago Craigslist, 12/04/2010

Age: 46
Category: Men Seeking Women

“Normal, attractive, interesting SWM iso similar woman who enjoys wine, art, dining, 420 and kinky sex.”

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Let’s have Bordeaux at a ritzy gallery opening, then go get baked and gag each other and the dog.

Dec 4, 2010
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“Looking for drinks and/or dinner!” – Chicago Craigslist, 12/04/2010

Age: Not Given
Category: Women Seeking Men

“I am looking to have some drinks, maybe dinner with a nice man! No expectations just good company! Get together and see what happens! “

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Awesome! You’re buying. I like steak and lobster. Buy me a nice meal and tell me I’m good looking and maybe I’ll kiss you goodnight, if you’re lucky. (Hey, if girls can work it like that, why can’t we?) 😉

Dec 4, 2010
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“Any guys like crazy?” – Chicago Craigslist, 12/04/2010

Age: 24
Category: Women Seeking Men

“Title says it all. I have my normal moments, I am in grad school. But I’m a girl, and perhaps slight crazier than most. I have 2 cats, I like to stay in watching movies and playing xbox or wow, and I can be an emotional drunk. On the other hand I would like to explore the city (only moved here for school) and can be a very fun drunk at times. Also I’m overweight, bbw as they call it, but would like to get into an exercise routine to change that. Just been too lazy. So If that appeals to you, put Red vs. Blue in the subject (google it if you don’t get the reference) and please include a pic, I won’t send one first.”

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I’m fat, lazy, crazy and drunk. Come get me, tiger.

Dec 4, 2010
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“Let’s Make A Baby” – Orlando Craigslist, 12/04/2010

Age: 42
Category: Men Seeking Women

“Looking for a women who would like to have a baby. Only serious replies. Let’s exchange pictures and information. Very intelligent, financially secure and handsome male here with athletic build. “

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I’m very intelligent. I don’t want a baby, but I’ll seduce you with the idea of money and having a baby because I know you’re vulnerable and I want to cavalierly knock you up. When your kid grows up and asks about dad, you can tell him you spread your legs for cash, but you’re not a prostitute because the rich guy (or so he said) didn’t give you any. It will be a proud moment in that kid’s life.

Nov 30, 2010
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“if you aint bout games … Hit me up” – New York Craigslist, 11/30/2010

Age: 28
Category: Women Seeking Men

“hey am looking for a friendship n then maybe we could kick it to something else … I don’t nned no fake ass guys in my life .. So if you aint got nothing real in life or never been real to ure self don’t bother hitting me up.. Am a latina looking for a pr, dr, pr/blk or white male looking to get to kno me … So if interested for more info reply to dis posting … Hope to hear from ya …”

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As soon as I decipher this, maybe I’ll call you.

Nov 20, 2010
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“daddy” – Denver Craigslist, 11/20/2010

Age: 20
Category: Women Seeking Men

“Come love me”

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Nice ad. Watch out for that windowless Ford Club Wagon pulling into your driveway. WTF.

Nov 13, 2010
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“Pickup Lines: Our Top Ten Favorites!” – eHarmony Advice Newsletter, November 2010

failed pickup line cartoonAge: 18 – 99
Category: Men Seeking Women, Women Seeking Men, Men Seeking Men, Women Seeking Women
Original Source: http://advice.eharmony.com/?page=slideshows/view&slideshow=18

01. “WHO are you?”

02. “Excuse me, but you have something on your face.” (when she goes to wipe it, stop her and say “No, leave it. It’s beauty.”)

03. “How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice!”

04. “I bet you were an awfully cute baby.”

05. “Nice to meet you. I’m (your name) and you’re beautiful.”

06. “Hi, who’s your friend?”

07. “Are you single?”

08. “What kind of dog is that?”

09. “Hi, I would love to get you a drink.”

10. “Hey, I love your shoes (or handbag or coat, etc.)”

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Seriously, THIS is the list of pickup lines that eHarmony is recommending? Who the hell is writing this advice, and how much are they paid? Because I will do the same job for the right salary, and I won’t be a freakin’ moron. Where didn’t they screw up the advice about effective pickup lines? I think the only one here that is even remotely worth using is the one about the girl’s dog, at least maybe you have a common interest in dogs there. The rest of these are a prescription for a guy getting himself blown off, and not the way he’s hoping, either.

01. “WHO are you? Because once you tell me, I plan to stake myself outside your apartment window at night with high-powered binoculars.”

02. “Excuse me, but I have something on my face. It’s called a nose, which I’m shoving so far up your poop chute to win your approval that I’ll resort to lines that are cheesier than four-cheese mac.”

03. “I’m an idiot who thinks he’s going to get somewhere with you by telling you jokes that a third grader would think was immature.”

04. “I bet you were an awfully cute baby. And yeah, that’s the reason I’m talking to you. Because you’re someone I don’t know AT ALL and I think you must have been a cute baby. Or I just don’t have anything worthwhile to talk to you about.”

05. “Hi. Nice to meet you. My name is (your name) and I’m desperate. I would like to start our interaction by putting you on a pedestal.”

06. “Hi. Who’s your friend? She’s WAY hotter than you. Rowwwrrr.”

07. “Are you single? Because, you know, unless I have a shot at sleeping with you I have no interest in anything you have to say.”

08. “I’m feigning interest in your beastly canine so you’ll talk to me.”

09. “Hi, I want to buy you things in exchange for sex, will you be my hooker?”

10. “Hey, I’m paying you compliments so you’ll sleep with me!”

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