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Gold Diggers Deluxe « OK, Get Serious!
Browsing articles in "Gold Diggers Deluxe"
Nov 28, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“Take me to Harrahs now!!” – Philadelphia Craigslist, 11/28/2011

Crazy Woman with Cards

Category: Women seeking men
Age: 31

“I want to use your money at Harrahs chester now…voluptuous young woman looking for older man to spoil me now….your money”

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Did I mention that I want to use your money? Your money. Money. Yours.

Jan 28, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“My Mr. RIGHT !!” – Chicago Craigslist, 01/28/2011

snobby rich bitchAge: 45
Category: Women seeking men

“I would like in my best friend, someone who can be soft spoken but manly. Also a man who likes to go for long walk and takes good care of himself (works out, ect). I would like a man at least 5’10 with gray, black or brown hair, brown or green eyes, nice teeth, and Very successful …. please no blue collars here!!!!!! I enjoy a night out for a nice dinner and a movie perhaps but ultimately I love staying home and enjoying each others company. Please no smokers … I do love being intimate …. a man that is Age 49 to 59 years young… marriage being something that I see in my future. I know what I want and I want what I say so if you have these to offer then please reply…. I am 5’7, 127 lb blonde hair ,brown eyes, very attractive, well traveled and a little spoiled Well alot but very kind 😉 If you think you could be the object of my affection, I will be happy to share more of myself with you. I am looking to be discrete. Please only successful men respond …Thank you”

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I’m not sure what annoys me more: Your overuse of ellipses, your use of six exclamation points to deliver your “no blue collar guys” message, your inability to spell “discreet,” (considering “discrete” means two things that are separate, and I’m pretty sure you didn’t mean that) or your spoiled bitch attitude. Yeah, probably that last one. And why are you looking for discretion? Is your current boyfriend not buying you enough jewelry or taking you on lavish vacations, you arrogant gold-digging lowlife? Maybe if you were 25 you could pull this over on some guy who was all over the pay-to-play with a nubile young thing. But you’re 45, sister. Enjoy the rest of your life in your glitzy penthouse condo with your Persian cat and your snobby friends as your only company. Have a nice day.

Jan 17, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“does love exist?” – Chicago Craigslist, 01/17/2011

Gold Digging Shallow GirlAge: Not given
Category: Casual encounters, women seeking men

“What does a girl have to do these days to get spoiled! The fact is I am NOT a gold digger, I have expectations of how I should be treated and I love being spoiled. Just that simple.I know there are men out there who love to spoil, financially and emotionally.I open to all ages and races, I just want to have FUN make you happy and be spoiled thats it!You like thin woman with dark hair and a pretty face with a great smile, who is stylish and clean.”

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The FACT is that you are not a gold digger? You expect to be spoiled financially in exchange for “making me happy” (and we all know what that means), so what does that make you? Oh yeah, a prostitute. What’s your address? I’ll send some boys with radios and handcuffs to “spoil” you for 6 months at a state facility.

Oct 31, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Seriously, this is it?” – Chicago Craigslist (Northwest Indiana), 10/31/2010

Snobby Girls

Age: 25
Category: Women Seeking Men

“I know that I am a great girl. I am tired of wasting my time. I am wanting to find someone that is caring, a hard worker, funny, outgoing, attractive, that doesn’t live 100 miles away. Must be single and white between the ages of 27 to 33. I am not really into partying, so if this is your thing don’t bother. If you don’t have a job or any prospects don’t bother either. Email me, and we will see.”

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Hey, if you don’t want a good guy to live 100 miles away, I have an idea for you. How about NOT MOVING TO FREAKING NORTHWEST INDIANA?

So, let’s see…you have a “between 27 and 33” age requirement, the guy has to be white bread, can’t like to party and needs to have a great job, presumably to support your arrogant ass.

“Email me and we will see”……..? Seriously? You THINK you are a great girl. You are the epitome of high maintenance bitchiness, capital HMB. You’re not interviewing lackies for some remedial job, you’re trying to find someone with whom to build a relationship. With an attitude like yours, you better hope for a self-loathing, subservient wussbag. There’s a thought…ever consider the dominatrix lifestyle? It sounds like your calling.

Sep 8, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Tall SWM Educated Sperm Donor Sought” – Philadelphia Craigslist, 09/06/2010

Age: Not Given
Category: Women Seeking Men

“I am a well educated woman of color. I’m tall, attractive, plus size/BBW, stylish and intelligent. My preference is to find a single white male who could act as a sperm donor for me or co-parent with me. You should be at least 6’4” and I also prefer light eyes and hair.

Marriage didn’t work out for me and I am at a time and place in my life where I would like to have a child.

Send a pic and tell me about yourself. I will reply with more about myself if there is any interest. “

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Also, have money and be ready for a paternity suit.

Sep 7, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“I BETT I DO IT~BLK TEEN~BEAT THA K*T” – Chicago Craigslist, 09/07/2010

Age: 18
Category: Men Seeking Women

“Str8 single no kidz, Blk teen want get up with a Clean Healthy Lady race open…

FWB kickin it wit u sum time relaxxxin & hangout, or NSA kool wit me 2… b n Chitown

I’m clean Healthy Mobile kool 2 be around u betta be 2 n shit. U HOST OR MOTEL

U c my real pic’s & cell number….

NO MEN OR COUPLES!!!!!

Seven Seven Three~ { rest of number omitted to protect the terminally stupid }

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This ad was complete with two pictures. One of our advertising male in a backwards baseball cap and a jacket with a popped collar, and another with him wearing sunglasses about 3 times bigger than his face. And he wants you to pay for the hotel room, ladies. Please everyone, not all at once. Single file for this prize-winning catch.

Aug 31, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“I need groceries!!!” – Chicago Craigslist, 08/31/2010

Age: 29
Category: Women Seeking Men

“I have been really broke lately and I have no food in my fridge.

If anyone is willing to help me out with some groceries…maybe you can take me to the store or even just give me a gift card for the groceries I would be eternaly grateful!!!

I appreciate your help!!”

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I don’t know whether to be disdainful or sad right now.

Aug 29, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Looking for generous sugardade” – Boston Craigslist, 08/29/2010

Age: 24
Category: Women Seeking Men

“Hi there.. Its a lovely afternoon, sun just went down, and the whether is nice. I’m looking to enjoy the evening/night with a generous sweet, fun loving gent. I’m just a lovely, attractive, sweet, fun loving, and sexy women. I like wine, music, and playing game. Light dancing at home is fun too..”

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I’m women. I like playing game. You generous. Be sugardade, whatever that is. I horny, broke. Do light dance, you light wallet. Grunt grunt.

Jul 26, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“up early who wants to take me to breakfast” – New York Craigslist, 07/26/2010

Age: 25
Category: Women Seeking Men

“cute sbf.. who is hungry and looking to meet someone new.. any takers?”

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This one is so ripe with innuendo that I can’t even bring myself to do it. Please, someone, help me out here. All non-spam comments will be approved….

Jul 26, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Girl who’s bad at working wants a sugar daddy” – New York Craigslist, 07/26/2010

Age: 25
Category: Women Seeking Men

“Hi there, yes, I am bad at working.

I was in college for six years trying to get a bachelor’s degree, but dropped out before completing my final year. However, I’m very intelligent, went to (** name of high school deleted to protect the romantically challenged **), got 1290 on the SAT’s. I am just bad at working, and– most of all–bad at getting a job. I have anxiety problems and hate going for job interviews. (I lose it with fear.) My anxiety disorder also contributed to me not finishing college. I missed a lot of classes.

I’ve concluded that the best thing for me to do is either marry rich, or find a hot guy who also doesn’t mind giving me money. If you sort of qualify, please email me. Consider me as sort of a house pet. I will clean your apartment, cook and do your laundry, and also offer affection and playful companionship. Hopefully we will fall in love.

I’m 5’5″ tall, 130 lbs, white, very pretty face, and have indiscreet tattoos. Email me to exchange non-nude photos.”

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I will be your 1290-SAT house pet, who will berate you for being intellectually inferior to me every time you don’t give me money. If you bring home the bacon, I’ll fry it up in the pan. And based on you paying me to nail me, hopefully we’ll fall in love before the cops bust us for soliciting and prostitution.

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