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Notes from the Admin « OK, Get Serious!
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May 17, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

The Ten Commandments of Twitter

link to twitter

01. Twitter is a community, with many sub-communities. There are tools out there that can make managing multiple accounts, following, unfollowing, etc. much easier. However, there is no tool that substitutes actual human interaction. 60% – 70% of your timeline should be original material from you, but 30% – 40% should be @ replies and retweets. This shows that you’re actually engaged, not just dumping a whole bunch of content into a social media management tool and forgetting about it.

02. Gaining a good following takes time. Yes, you can sometimes build a list more quickly with automation. But to build a list of users who know and trust you, and who will actually heed calls-to-action you put out there, means you’re going to have to get involved. The list will grow steadily as long as you’re consistent. Once in awhile, an event will occur and someone will get thousands of followers overnight. Unless you’re a celebrity or accidentally witness a terrorist being taken out by Seal Team 6, don’t expect this to be you.

03. Stop begging, but joke about being needy. Repeatedly asking for more followers or retweets is a good way to get yourself blocked. Just say no. However, tweets like “I don’t think I’ve been retweeted since a meteor took out the dinosaurs” tend to generate goodwill and may actually get retweeted.

04. Autoreply has very limited, very specialized usage. A single autoreply DM welcome message is okay IF you have a large, high-activity account and if you aren’t promoting your website, products or services within it. Other autoreplies are frowned upon. Pretty fiercely, too.

05. Long conversations shouldn’t be held in the public forum. Most Twitter subscribers find this annoying.

06. Long conversations aren’t really made for DM either. Dude, got email? If you and another subscriber really want to have a conversation spread over dozens of 140-character messages, that’s your choice…it’s just usually not the choice most people seem to make.

07. Nobody likes a prude. Alright, not exactly nobody, but for the most part you should feel comfortable with quotes about body parts and a healthy helping of swearing in the Twitter community. Even if you joined just to follow inspirational timelines and bible quotes. Being irreverent is the societal norm on Twitter – it’s a different animal entirely than Facebook.

08. Good grammar is welcome. Chances are, you will get more “favorites” and retweets if you know the difference between “your” and “you’re,” “there,” “their” and “they’re.”

09. Grammar cops, however, are not welcome. If you want to lose a bunch of followers really quickly, start calling out individual users for their errant grammatical ways. Tweeting something generalized about grammar will probably get you laughs. Tweeting to mock someone’s grammar will probably get you blocked.

10. Insecurity is a virtue. Joke about it and people will follow you because they feel connected with you.

Mar 12, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“Understanding How Men Think” – Your-Personal-Relationship-Advice.com Blog, 03/12/2011

How to Understand the Way Men ThinkAge: All
Category: Relationship Advice

This is my response to the blog post / article Understanding How Men Think by @Love_Aid. I want to preface my response by acknowledging that all the bold advice text belongs to and is copyrighted by @Love_Aid. I’m weighing in on it because, well…I’m a man.

#############

– Men are crazy about the smile of a woman. True. A nice, genuine smile – especially accompanied by smiling eyes (a little crinkle, dancing pupils for lack of better words) – is something that sets us more at ease. It’s not necessarily a physical attraction thing, but it makes us feel more comfortable with you and less like you’re doing a background check in your head.

– A man would do anything to make you notice him. False. A boy would do anything to make you notice him. A man is confident enough to know that he’s worth noticing, and that if you don’t, someone else will. In fact, a man that goes out of his way to do things that are really nice and romantic but does them too soon is the guy most likely to end up in the “friend zone.”

– Men hate it when you talk to them about your past relationships or ex boyfriend. Both true and false. It’s never more true than on the first few dates, or before you’ve slept together. But if we know that you’re really with us and no one else, if an ex is brought up once in awhile it’s not always bad. If you keep bringing up things that he did well or that you loved about him on a regular basis, yeah, that will irritate us. If you tell us you’re having an emotional or irrational reaction to a situation that’s sparked by an experience with an ex, that actually helps us understand you better and we appreciate it.

The man that loves you would like to be the only one that you talk with. False. So, so totally wrong I can’t even express how wrong it is. We know you have guy friends, and we have friends that are women also. Sometimes either men or women may have remained friends with an ex, but this doesn’t mean we’re sleeping with them. Do we want to be in the loop? Of course. But being the only person of the same gender that you talk to or have as a friend? That is a requirement of a jealous person, not a healthy one.

Your man also needs to hear, once in awhile, that you love him. True, sort of. As long as the “once in awhile” part is in there. We don’t need to hear it a lot. But we like it when you get naked with us a lot, that helps. 😉

If a man teases you, he might like you. True. Almost 100% of the time. We do joke around with female friends just like we’d joke around with male friends for the most part, although we’ll temper the vulgarity to some extent. But if he’s busting on you “a little extra” the way he might bust on his own sister, he likes you.

If a man tries to talk to you seriously, then you should listen, because it will not happen too often. True, but mercifully so. As a woman, do you really want a dude who’s serious or brooding all the time? Or do you want someone with a brain who’s also fun but can be serious when necessary? Most women I know prefer the latter, and most men prefer to be the latter. Unfortunately, as stated earlier, there are just a lot of boys out there. The boys will complain about the state of various things from politics to social etiquette to money to religion and more. Men may say and do things you don’t agree with, but they will take action, and if you’re the one he’s into, he wants you to be on the journey with him. Even at the times you don’t agree. He wants you to have a strong opinion, and maybe even argue points with you – but if he’s into you, whether he agrees or not, and whether he says so or not, he’s listening.

A man will not think less of you if you invite him out. True. But for the most part, we like to make a plan and invite you to share it with us. We don’t just want to delegate all the planning to you and then go along with everything. Well, those of us who don’t need mommy to take care of us anymore…can’t think of anything less attractive to a woman, but there are unfortunately plenty of guys like this. For your benefit, women: That is a Red Flag with a capital R. Avoid those dudes like the plague.

Have an opinion? Weigh in. Leave a comment below.

Feb 27, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

What a Girl Wants / What a Guy Wants

Men's Remote vs. Women's Remote

This post is divided into three segments: 1. My dating background, 2. What – after finally playing the dating game in my late 30s & early 40s – women want, and 3. What men want (I figure I’m an authority here, right?). This post is much longer than some of my others, but if you’re either interested or bored with nothing else to do, have a look at it.

My Dating Background

In my younger days, I didn’t have much experience with dating. I was shy, and as much as I wanted to break out of my introverted shell, it was a long time coming. Throughout my first three years of high school, I was about 5′ 4″ and all the other guys towered above me.

I had played baseball from the time I was in 4th grade until my freshman year, but I was so intimidated by the size of the other players that I didn’t even try out for the high school team. In retrospect, I really should have – I had always been at least an above average hitter and I covered a lot of ground in center field with my short legs. I was even on a team where I went from zero to hero, and the team also went from dead last in the league one year to barely losing the championship on a last-play-cloud-of-dust-at-the-plate call the next year. Now, that was not even close to being all of because of me; however, I was an important contributor and my confidence should have soared. But my inferiority complex got the better of me, and while I appreciate having parents who supported freedom and creativity, I probably could have used at least a minor kick in the ass.

My senior year, I grew. Rapidly. I went from 5′ 4″ to the height I am now (5′ 11″) from the beginning of the school year to the end of the summer. There was more a feeling of relief than anything else, but three years of being called a dwarf and a nerd took their toll, and I was now a tall (enough) and good looking guy, but I sure as hell didn’t know it.

The point is, I never had a girlfriend throughout high school. I had a few good friends, and even a few good friends that were girls, but I was always the “friend zone” guy. The sensitive guy that listened and talked to the few women I hung out with after some jerkoff broke their hearts. Again. I went to one homecoming and was asked to take the girl home less than 20 minutes after we showed up – it turned out that nobody else had asked her, and she wanted to be seen there, but she wasn’t into me at all. I went to one “Heart Hop” (Sadie Hawkins) with a girl who I really wasn’t that into, but I was flattered and did want to go to the dance – and then she tongue-blocked me when I tried to kiss her. Rejected by a girl I didn’t even dig that much…apparently she didn’t dig me that much either, but I hadn’t been informed of the “we’re just going as friends” status. I guess I was such a nerd that it was just implied. I didn’t go to junior or senior prom. Junior year, I couldn’t work up the nerve to ask anyone. Senior year, the two girls I mustered the strength to ask said no.

In college, I had one girlfriend, for three years. I was a sensitive wuss the entire time. She had an air of entitlement with her parents that always made me uncomfortable, but as far as our relationship went, she was in charge. She told her parents what was up, she told me what was up, she made the plans, and on and on. The relationship was really over after a year and a half, but apparently my testicles hadn’t dropped yet. I finally did work up the strength to end it near the end of the third year. It wasn’t pretty, but it was over. Oh, and we did have oral sex, but nothing that ever “worked” – we tried but she was too nervous to relax and I had no clue what the F to do.

Almost immediately after that, I met someone who I fell madly in love with, we were engaged in six weeks, and married in a year. And ended up being married for 17 years, most of which were absolutely wonderful. Good times, bad times, a beautiful daughter, moving up through the ranks (so to speak) with housing and neighborhoods until we had the single family house with two-car garage and huge yard on a cul-de-sac. My (now ex) wife was the first woman I’d ever “gone all the way” with, and she had cast quite a spell over me for numerous reasons, but this was certainly icing on the (cheese)cake.

Then the years passed, and the fact that I had never really had that college experience of dating a lot of people before deciding who was right for me – and frankly having some different experiences in the bedroom – it all added up to me wanting to stray. Not because of anything my ex-wife did or didn’t do; she was and still is an awesome woman. I was immature and frustrated. I did stupid things. She followed up with some stupid shit of her own, and the marriage fell apart from there, but I was the one who started the ball rolling. Sure it takes two, but I’m going to take responsibility for my share, which was quite the hefty share, trust me.

I was separated and then divorced, and the dating I never did back in college ensued. I met one woman who I ended up dating for 2.5 years, and if it had been up to me, I would have been married again. But she fell out of love with me, and to her credit she was straight up about it. It was very tough, and she was “the one who got away,” but I have a lot of respect for her and we are still friends today because of how she handled that.

After her, I basically became a complete manwhore. And discovered that I had developed a level of confidence I never had before, and that I had a pretty good BS meter, and that women tended to like me more because I didn’t care what anyone thought and was generally pretty humorous about it rather than being an asswipe (well, mostly…I have my moments, haha). I’m still a confident guy now, and I don’t really assume women will like me, but I don’t assume they won’t either. We’re all human, we have our likes and dislikes, and I’ll joke around as comfortably with a complete “10” as I will a “3.”

So, through all of this, I’ve discovered that there are pretty common threads between what women want and what men want. Of course, it’s not ALL the same, but these are the most common themes I see.

What Women Want

Women want a well-rounded man of noble character, intelligence, humor and strength.

Women want a man who is funny and sarcastic, but only to a certain point, because if it’s too much it becomes unattractive.

Women want a man who is confident but not arrogant.

Women want a man who has emotional strength, who can support them, and listen but not necessarily try to fix everything.

Women want a man who is sensitive to a point but not to a fault.

Women want a man who won’t put up with all of their shit, but who also won’t be a prick.

Women want a man who is dangerous and exciting, yet stable and nurturing.

Women want a man who is not predictable and can keep them on their toes.

Women want a man who can keep them curling their toes, if you know what I mean. (baw-chicka-wa-waaaaaa)

Women want a man who dresses well, or at least dresses in a unique manner that gives him his own sense of style.

Women want a man who is not chauvinistic, who sees them as whole people, but who has the ability to “not be so nice” and even objectify them in the bedroom, as long as that’s where that stays. Playtime is playtime.

Women want a man who is a good conversationalist, who knows a lot about a particular subject or subjects, and can teach them something.

Women want a man who knows that a woman’s best sex organ is her brain.

Women want a man who understands foreplay, and that it begins (or at least can begin) a lot earlier than any sort of touching or fooling around happens – it can start with sexy words or activities. Women love the buildup and it’s almost as important as the act itself.

Women want a man who won’t make vulgar comments, but is talented at innuendo.

Women want a man who is just mysterious enough that they can’t quite figure him out. Women want a challenge. If they don’t have the challenge, they get bored.

Women want a man who is enlightened and understands modern women, yet will still hold the door for them.

Women are very good at having both the “consistent, caring guy to date” and the “guy who rocks my world in the bedroom” at the same time. They’re also very good at hiding this from the consistent, caring guy. Anyone who tells you that men cheat more, don’t believe them for a minute. Men are just worse at hiding it. Some women will probably comment to dispute this. Those women are the ones doing the cheating. And they feel justified in doing it. I know that you girls aren’t supposed to break the girl code just like I’m not supposed to break the guy code, but since I became the sex guy instead of the consistent guy, I’ve been told a lot. I won’t reveal names, because I don’t want you breaking bad on these sexy women. 😉

Women are very, very sexual creatures and guys who think otherwise are not seeing the whole picture.

Women can lose interest over something a man didn’t even realize was wrong – whether it was words or actions – and once you’ve been moved into “the friend zone,” you’re not getting back out of it.

If men let any of these criteria slide, she will lose interest.

What Men Want

As far as I can tell, us men want three things from women:

1. You should look hot.

2. You should get naked.

3. You should not be a moron when you open your mouth. Although, if you’re hot enough and the sex is good enough, we may let this one slide, at least for awhile.

Conclusion

Based on the requirements of each gender, I’ve decided that from now on, you girls have to buy US dinner to get us in bed or land us as boyfriends and especially husbands. We have more work to do to keep your fickle asses happy.

Feb 14, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

Happy VD, bitches.

And when I say bitches, that is my affectionate nickname for all of you, men and women alike. Happy VD, people. As in Valentine’s Day. What did you think I meant?

Now I’m not going to say that Valentine’s Day was invented by Hallmark, like Sweetest Day was. What a sham Sweetest Day is.

Valentine’s Day is actually based on a real person, Saint Valentine, circa somewheres about 300 or 400 A.D. And the cause that Valentine’s Day was originally created for was to remember the beheading of Saint Valentine by Emperor Claudius II, who was pretty tweaked that Saint Valentine wouldn’t accept Paganism and continued to perform marriage ceremonies for Christian couples.

The point being, Valentine’s Day did not initially have a damn thing to do with love and romance. That all started with that fucker Chaucer. Now we have to “prove our love” by dropping cash at Hallmark and Fannie May. Thanks a lot, Geoffrey. If you were alive today, I’d punch you in the throat. Metaphorically speaking of course.

Enjoy your VD, everybody.

Feb 12, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

10 of my favorite Craigslist Dating / Marriage / Cheating / Divorce Rants

Age: Any
Category: Some of my favorite Craigslist rants

Sometimes I just gotta give props to people who post dating, marriage, cheating and divorce raves on Craigslist. I’m sure some of them know they’re good writers, but I have a sneaking suspicion that others are simply venting for the purpose of having their significant other (or former significant other) find the ad – without ever realizing how brilliant they are, or how much someone else out here (namely yours truly) is enjoying their rants. Craigslist ad writers, this is dedicated to you, in no particular order. You’re all awesome.

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My cheating husband!!!
“Ok, so I just found out that you’ve been writing about 25 emails a day to one of your female colleagues, all signed with the words “with bated breath”. GREAT! You seem to have decided that bisexual vegetarians with questionable hair choices are more up your alley….” Read more…

Just fucking fuck me, already.
“Dear Men of Craigslist, Look, I know you men have it difficult. Women are just about impossible to understand, much less please. In a post-feminist society, you never know exactly what you should be doing. Women are bloody picky, I know we are. It can be scary, too, when women freak out about what appear to be benign issues. And men who do their best to be respectful, female-positive humans, I salute you, I do.  But please, please just fuck me already. Honestly, I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I like that you want to take things slow. I can totally get behind the idea of emotional connection, but dearjesusinheaven, FUCK ME. We’ve done dinner and drinks…” Read more…

An open letter to the men who post in Casual Encounters (Tips!)
“Dear Men of Craig?s List that post ads in the Casual Encounters section,
I?ve been observing and laughing and on the verge of vomiting, so I?d like to give you a few tips to increase your chances of scoring a casual encounter, here on Craig?s List. I?ll divide this up in sections:  Section 1: Photo tips , Section 2: General ad writing tips…” Read more…

You slept in my bed last night
“ME: A guy coming home to find you asleep in my bed.  YOU: Stunningly attractive blonde slightly undressed.” Read more…

Male Villain Seeking Female Arch-Enemy
“Howdy, I’m looking for a deadly vixen to do battle with on a weekly basis. We could meet in parks, rooftops, on the top of a moving train, on top of a moving truck, on top of anything really…” Read more…

We shared a cab, you hit me in the face.
“Hi! I am almost 100% positive you remember me. I was standing in the cab line for about 15 minutes in 1 degree weather, and then you and your girlfriend ran in front of me in the cab line right as my cab, that I had been waiting so long for out in the ball shivering cold, arrived. Now I admit…” Read more…

To the beautiful lady who saw me pooping…
“Me: Taking a huge poop in the l5p pizza bathroom. You: Drunk, beautiful, Discovered that I forgot to lock the door in my haste. Look, I know it must have been awkward for you to see me in that state…” Read more…

PDA couple, section 30 row 28
“Ah, what can I say? Your obvious affection for each other was clear, even in the miserable weather during a miserable game. But a couple thoughts. To the guy wearing the orange north face and a baseball cap…” Read more…

To the guy doing my wife at my house
“To the guy doing my wife. You know who you are. Yes I know. No I am not angry; I would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife. 1. Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old…” Read more…

Leduc Walmart Hottie
“You were a delicious BBW with a stained white t-shirt & a half a dozen kids in tow, I was…” Read more…

Jan 28, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

Top Ten Most Popular OKGetSerious.com Posts Through 01/2011

If you just discovered this blog, it’s all about no-holds-barred reviews of – and retorts to – online dating ads. According to our server stats, here are the top 10 most popular posts since the blog was started in June 2010. You know, in case you wonder what you’ve been missing.


Here are my own personal top 10 favorites. People are nuts. They make my job easy.

Jan 2, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

The True Meaning of Cuddling (from a Male Perspective)

I just read the following ad, which follows the theme of many, many ads that I see in the “Men Seeking Women” sections of dating sites:

“It would be fun to spend the night with someone in my warm comfy condo cuddling and enjoying each other’s company. Me – swm, 6’1, good looking, clean-cut, easy going, fun to be with. ”

Baby, if you love me you'll let me put it in your butt....

Ladies, let’s get something straight. There is no man who is legitimately advertising for cuddling. They are saying this to appear safe. And because they think you want to hear it, and that you’ll somehow think it’s sensitive or cute. Every single one of these guys wants to fuck you raw.

I’m not saying this is a bad thing; just remember the following rule: In every ad that you see “cuddle” or “cuddling,” simply replace those words with “fuck” and “fucking” and you’ve got what the guy’s after. If that’s what you want too, more power to you, and go for it. That is, if you’re okay with the lying liar lying to you because he’s just that hot. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Any guy who even makes the slightest attempt to dispute this with you is doing so because he wants you to “cuddle” with him until he gets a blowjob.

Dec 16, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

Apartment Living

Just a quick note from yours truly. Started the day surly (who, me?) because not only had the upstairs tenants used all the hot water this morning, but they flushed the toilet repeatedly while I was in the shower, taking the water stream from “tepid and moderate” to “ice cold and trickle.”

There is also a hole in my bathroom ceiling from previous water damage where the seal around their toilet leaked. It’s supposed to be repaired soon, but I have a better idea.

I’m considering installing a motion-sensor-triggered device which slaps these two upside the head every time they flush when my shower is on.

Sep 27, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

Dear female online dater…

This is a note from us men about your online dating profiles. While we appreciate seeing pictures of you with your friends, please keep in mind that we might think you’re cute. Right? I mean after all, that’s at least part of the point.

So – why do you go to such lengths to post pics of you with your demonstrably hotter friends? This happens more times than you would imagine.

There is no good result of this behavior. It will make us want to ask you how to contact your hotter friend(s), and not wanting to be complete asshats, we are not going to do this.

It will also prevent us from contacting you because we already know that even if we like you, once your friend is in the room/bar/theater/car with us we’re in serious trouble. Whether she is interested in us or not is irrelevant. The fact that she is in the same room with us is going to be a disaster because we don’t want to hurt you, yet we’re going to be thinking about nailing her.

If we can foresee that situation based on your pictures, we’re not going to contact you. Now, it may happen anyway, but we’re not going to knowingly jump into that situation.

Unless you’re both bi and want a threesome. Then forget everything I just said.

Sep 25, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

Not that I want to play matchmaker, but…

…is it just me, or should this guy and this girl get together?

Feed Miss Milky

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