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Romantically Stupid « OK, Get Serious!
Browsing articles in "Romantically Stupid"
Feb 4, 2012
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“Flat chested and nice tushy?” – Atlanta Craigslist, 02/04/2012

Herbert the Pervert

Age: 50
Category: Men Seeking Women

“You are my dream girl! It’s funny how friends are always attracted to women with big boobs. Not me! I like small with a nice derriere. I’m not a pervert, not on the sex offenders list, nor have I ever been convicted of a crime. I am just a man who knows what he likes! I am divorced, handsome (if I do say so myself), successful, and confident. If you are younger than I am it is a big plus.”

Ladies, ladies! Single file line. Try to control yourself. Calm down! I’m sure he’ll find time for all of you. Not all at once! God. Take it easy.

Feb 4, 2012
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“white male needs to lick sweet pussy” – Atlanta Craigslist, 02/04/2012

Age: 50
Category: Men Seeking Women

Who needs a good pussy licking? Age and race unimportant. I like a lady with meat on her bones.

Let’s make this happen, baby.

girl with meat on her bonespussy licking

Oct 26, 2011
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“beat my head against the wall” – Austin Craigslist, 10/26/2011

Run-on Sentence Tattoo Boy

“well im david im six foot black hair blue eyes i have tats so yeah um i like to read horror sci fi comedy non fiction anything by clive barker or judge dredd im a huge dork when it comes to horror metal hardcore punk comic some video games yoga i dont think ill ever find the right girl cause im cursed but thats besides the point i like to say m ugly and fat but in reality im actually good looking but who cares im not gonna be an egomaniac all in all i just dont care what people think of me its not style to care if u like or hate me thats al on you so i guess ill stop rambling andlet you do what ever good bye”


and then we cud run away 2gethr and we wud run on and on and on and on and on and on and on

Oct 2, 2011
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“Any normal woman out there?” – Chicago Craigslist, 10/02/2011

Picky pathetic guy

Age: 29
Category: Men seeking women

“Why cant I meet a normal date for once. Below is the great luck ive been having

1) First girl went through my phone while I went to bathroom (first date)
2) Another date said omg once every minute
3) Most recent date turns out to be of those I found jesus, jesus saved my life, etc type person which is fine but just not for me (After 1st date and becoming fb friends)
Are their any cute single normal women out there? Or do I need to turn gay?

Please sum up a bad date in the subject to get my attention. Also say go bears in the body of the email :)”


Summary: A date with you, you sad and pathetic man who tries to get a date by bitching about your other ones. Women are going to LOVE that. Moron.

Oh…go Bears.

Dec 30, 2010
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“She fantasizes about being your bad girl, your very very bad girl” – Examiner Seattle Dating Advice, 04/29/2010

frying pan smackdownAge: Not given
Category: Dating Advice
Source: http://www.examiner.com/dating-advice-in-seattle/she-fantasizes-about-being-your-bad-girl-very-very-bad-girl

I won’t re-post the whole article, but here are the 4 steps that Examiner says you need to take in order to turn your girlfriend or wife into that bad girl you want.

1. Make it a habit to compliment her on a daily basis.
2. Buy her lingerie she normally wouldn’t buy herself.
3. Become her workout partner.
4. Make efforts to have spontaneous sex outside the bedroom.


If I constantly shower her with compliments, buy her latex underwear, follow her to the gym every day to work out with her, and try to bone her in the bathroom at Wendy’s…I’m pretty sure her first reaction will be to get a restraining order.

Dec 29, 2010
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“I am not picky Any female will do” – Las Vegas Craigslist, 12/28/2010

Hairy Italian guy with huge cross on a gold chainAge: Not given
Category: Men seeking women

“I’m not picky I don’t care what you look like or what you do I don’t care if you date 10 other guys a week just when your with me Be nice

It’s my daughter and I in the recent photo she cam to see her pop on Christmas

Italian decsent 5 foot eleven blue eyes financially secure”


Way to show your daughter what you think about yourself and about women. Hope you’re planning to pay her soon-to-be-massive therapy bills with that money.

Dec 13, 2010
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“Turn Your Love Life Around in 3 Steps” – Matchmaker.com Newsletter, 08/16/2010

Age: Not Given
Category: Inane

This is a fairly long article, located here: http://www.date.info/turn-your-love-life-around-in-3-steps/.

Basically, the 3 steps they mention are as follows:

1. Recognize the negative relationship patterns you keep repeating.
2. Avoid “all or nothing” thinking.
3. Don’t just fix the symptoms, develop a more holistic approach.


Forget those steps, here’s a 3 step program that you can really work with.

1. Stop being a douche.
2. When in doubt, see rule #1.
3. For good measure, see rules #1 and #2.

Dec 10, 2010
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“lets have a baby” – Seattle Craigslist, 12/09/2010

Age: 35
Category: Men Seeking Women

“i’m single, no kids, 35.
i’m looking to have a baby.
i’m black, stable and would like to have a baby without the romantic attachments.
your race does not matter”


Dude, if the baby is your primary motivation, it’s called adoption. If you’re looking for no-strings sex just come out and say it. And I mean God forbid that the child could actually have two parents in a relationship or actually living together, there’s a stretch.

Dec 8, 2010
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“I just don’t know exactly what I want” – Los Angeles Craigslist, 12/08/2010

Age: 49
Category: Women Seeking Men

“You know how – you want or crave something, but you just can’t quiet pin point exactly who and what it is ?
That’s what I want !!!
I want a sweet and naughty, a good and a bad boy and a gentleman and wild and a nice overall guy !!!
To match my personality !!!”


I have three responses:

1. If you’re 49 and you can’t figure out what you want, you’ve got bigger problems than getting a man.

2. It looks to me like you DO know what you want. A total schizo.

3. Match your personality? Which one, Sybil?

Sep 20, 2010
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“1 time companion” – Miami Craigslist, 09/20/2010

Age: 56
Category: Men Seeking Women

“Would like to meet an easy going lady for about 2-3 hours of companionship. I’m slim, fit, health concious, and very easy going.”


Would like to meat an easy lady for about 2 or 3 hours…um, shit, I mean I would like to meet an easy going lady….


Feed Miss Milky


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