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One Shy of a Six Pack « OK, Get Serious!
Browsing articles in "One Shy of a Six Pack"
Dec 29, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“I am not picky Any female will do” – Las Vegas Craigslist, 12/28/2010

Hairy Italian guy with huge cross on a gold chainAge: Not given
Category: Men seeking women

“I’m not picky I don’t care what you look like or what you do I don’t care if you date 10 other guys a week just when your with me Be nice

It’s my daughter and I in the recent photo she cam to see her pop on Christmas

Italian decsent 5 foot eleven blue eyes financially secure”

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Way to show your daughter what you think about yourself and about women. Hope you’re planning to pay her soon-to-be-massive therapy bills with that money.

Dec 19, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“I’m panicking and need some advice? Please help?!?” – Relationship Blog, 12/19/2010

guy brushing his teethAge: Not Given
Category: Girly Men with Girlfriends

“I’ve had a long line of controlling relationships. I was single for over a year and did a lot of self-esteem work. About a year and a half ago I began dating someone new again. Things have going faboulsy and she seems so diffrenite than anyone else I’ve ever dated. Very caring. Last night an interaction occured that struck a cord and has got me thinking. She went upstairs and I stayed down to wash my face. She hollared down “you better not be brushing your teeth” (cause than she feels guilty for not brushing hers). I joked back that I was and her repsonse was “than your not getting any”. I thought she was joking but when I got upstairs she acted mad at me. I told her I hadn’t brushed my teeth and she was still angry, wouldn’t even look at me and kept reading her nightly book. When she shut her light off and layed down I rolled over to give her a kiss goodnight and she simply lay there and let my lips touch hers (no kiss back).I wasn’t looking to “get any” but she was actually mad me. She was also really quite and wierd on the way to work. Kind of snippy with me. The whole thing has freaked me out a bit and I plan to talk to her tongiht about it. But I just wanted to get a feel from you..do you find the whole interaction starnge? Maybe a red flag?”

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This was posted on my friend’s website, The Relationship Blog. To see the answers he got (including mine), you’ll need to visit The Relationship Blog. Let’s put it this way…there’s a lot of advice about how to be patient with her, read the signals, talk to her, let her cool off, etc…none of which is mine. I’m not known for my political correctness.

Dec 10, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Looking” – Seattle Craigslist, 12/10/2010

Age: 20
Category: Men Seeking Women

“I am looking for some one to talk to. I am a english student and a writer. Please do not send me a dating add be a real person”

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Keep studying, buddy.

Nov 11, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“holiday hell” – Chicago Craigslist, 11/11/2010

woman throwing drink on manAge: Not given
Category: Men Seeking Women

“Not looking to make love, I have that at home. What I don’t have at home is someone to fuck. Need someone to chill with, smoke a cigarette, drink a beer and watch a football game or just fuck. U know, kind of like when you get home from a long hard day at the office and you just feeling like doing it. Perhaps when you’re watching your favorite show or watch you work on your lap top in your heels and panties? And then enjoy a nice cup of coffee wrapped in a warm blanket, our bare bodies still warm from the hot sex…”

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Really, dude? You “make love” at home but you just want a girl to fuck on the side? Please describe the scene when you’re “making love” to your supposed-to-be-significant other. “I love you so much honey, it’s just that I can’t call you degrading names and spank you.” The really sad part is, you probably could…but you don’t talk to this woman you LOVE (riiiiiiiggghht) and don’t realize she’s probably starving for you to do something interesting sexually for the first time in your pathetic sex life.

Yeah, and women work on their computers in panties and heels all the time too, right? Moron. Well, I guess the ones you’re sending $100 for 10 minutes over PayPal are, so you can watch them on their webcams. Then they turn off their cameras, take a long hot shower to wash all the YOU off them, put on their sweats and watch 30 Rock.

If you got anywhere near these women for real, the only place that hot cup of coffee would be is in your lap or thrown into your eyes while they dialed 911.

Nov 4, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Is your Boyfriend out of town?” – Chicago Craigslist, 11/04/2010

dating advice blog“My gf is out of town for about a week.

Shall we help one another scratch our itches?

We both need a bf/gf substitute for the next few days, we both know the deal…let’s do this thing without any drama and just have some fun with it!”

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No, seriously. I’ve done this before and my balls itch. Help me out here.

Sep 20, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“i’m look in for a nice girl” – Miami Craigslist, 09/20/2010

Age: 26
Category: Men Seeking Women

“i’m look in for a nice skinny black or white girl to have a long term relationship wit, let me know wat u think..thank u

This is a real ad……NO PICS,NO REPLY”

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u know wat i want. if u have an H or a YO bring it wit u.

Sep 5, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Need some company this morning” – Dallas Craigslist, 09/05/2010

Age: 26
Category: Women Seeking Men

“I feel really lonelly, it’s been awhile since i’ve had someone to cuddle with.Thats really all I want. If you seek the same, lets get in touch.Nothing pervy or creepy please, I’ll need to meet you in public like in a mall or something.”

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Three Rules:

1. You’re clueless.
2. Own a weapon.
3. Know Jiujitsu.

Sep 3, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“sleepover friend” – Chicago Craigslist, 09/03/2010

Age: 32
Category: Men Seeking Women

“miss having someone in my bed with me. (don’t miss the relationship part)

would love to meet a nice sane girl who’d like to come sleep over.

if things go well, maybe breakfast in the morning. “

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Would like to meet a nice sane girl who will climb into bed with a total stranger without a second thought. Spread your legs for me and maybe in the morning I’ll toast you up a nice burnt bagel. Alright – ready, set, dial! (tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick) . . . Why isn’t my phone ringing?

Sep 3, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Would love to be with another man’s wife” – New York Craigslist, 09/03/2010

Age: 35
Category: Men Seeking Women

“Have a recurring fantasy of a wild affair with a beautiful, attached lady….could it be you? Am 35, white, in shape, very good looking, in a relationship that is getting boring….Sneak away with me for a couple of hours this weekend and see where it goes….”

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Oh, the places you’ll go!

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Wrong Places!
You’re off and away!

You have filth in your head.
You have no moral thought.
You can fuck yourself
AND that wife that you want.
You’re a horny old coot. And you want booty now.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide which spouse to plow.

You’ll look up and down wives. Look ’em over with care.
About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your pants full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you’re too dumb to go down any single girl street.

And you may not find any
you’ll want to go down on.
In that case, of course,
you’ll still be a moron.

Their legs are opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as slimy
and creepy as you.

Oh, the places you’ll go!

Aug 29, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Got Big Boobs and love to laugh?” – Boston Craigslist, 08/29/2010

Age: 38
Category: Men Seeking Women

“Then say hello to this tall, passionate, witty single man. Put BIG BOOBS in your reply please :)”

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You can have no teeth, no job, no education and it’s okay if you haven’t showered in a week. Just make sure you bring those big boppers with ya. If you respond to this ad, your level of classiness should just about match mine, so we’re all good.

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