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Totally Pathetic « OK, Get Serious!
Browsing articles in "Totally Pathetic"
Oct 2, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“Any normal woman out there?” – Chicago Craigslist, 10/02/2011

Picky pathetic guy

Age: 29
Category: Men seeking women

“Why cant I meet a normal date for once. Below is the great luck ive been having

1) First girl went through my phone while I went to bathroom (first date)
2) Another date said omg once every minute
3) Most recent date turns out to be of those I found jesus, jesus saved my life, etc type person which is fine but just not for me (After 1st date and becoming fb friends)
Are their any cute single normal women out there? Or do I need to turn gay?

Please sum up a bad date in the subject to get my attention. Also say go bears in the body of the email :)”

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Summary: A date with you, you sad and pathetic man who tries to get a date by bitching about your other ones. Women are going to LOVE that. Moron.

Oh…go Bears.

Mar 21, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“trust me!!!” – Phoenix Craigslist, 03/20/2011

creepy craigslist stalkerAge: 22
Category: Men seeking women

“send ur pic im waiting”

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I’m (twitch) waiting (twitch)…waiting…(twitch twitch twitch) I’M NOT A PSYCHO (twitch)

Dec 29, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“I am not picky Any female will do” – Las Vegas Craigslist, 12/28/2010

Hairy Italian guy with huge cross on a gold chainAge: Not given
Category: Men seeking women

“I’m not picky I don’t care what you look like or what you do I don’t care if you date 10 other guys a week just when your with me Be nice

It’s my daughter and I in the recent photo she cam to see her pop on Christmas

Italian decsent 5 foot eleven blue eyes financially secure”

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Way to show your daughter what you think about yourself and about women. Hope you’re planning to pay her soon-to-be-massive therapy bills with that money.

Dec 26, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Need to talk . .” – Philadelphia Craigslist, 12/26/2010

birds prevent a cat suicideAge: Not given
Category: Men Seeking Women

“I am very depressed today! I need to talk with a compassionate woman..

I am at the end of my rope. I need a friend before it is too late..”

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Because nothing says “He’s a catch” quite like you actually needing to do so when I dive off this ledge.

Dec 19, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“I’m panicking and need some advice? Please help?!?” – Relationship Blog, 12/19/2010

guy brushing his teethAge: Not Given
Category: Girly Men with Girlfriends

“I’ve had a long line of controlling relationships. I was single for over a year and did a lot of self-esteem work. About a year and a half ago I began dating someone new again. Things have going faboulsy and she seems so diffrenite than anyone else I’ve ever dated. Very caring. Last night an interaction occured that struck a cord and has got me thinking. She went upstairs and I stayed down to wash my face. She hollared down “you better not be brushing your teeth” (cause than she feels guilty for not brushing hers). I joked back that I was and her repsonse was “than your not getting any”. I thought she was joking but when I got upstairs she acted mad at me. I told her I hadn’t brushed my teeth and she was still angry, wouldn’t even look at me and kept reading her nightly book. When she shut her light off and layed down I rolled over to give her a kiss goodnight and she simply lay there and let my lips touch hers (no kiss back).I wasn’t looking to “get any” but she was actually mad me. She was also really quite and wierd on the way to work. Kind of snippy with me. The whole thing has freaked me out a bit and I plan to talk to her tongiht about it. But I just wanted to get a feel from you..do you find the whole interaction starnge? Maybe a red flag?”

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This was posted on my friend’s website, The Relationship Blog. To see the answers he got (including mine), you’ll need to visit The Relationship Blog. Let’s put it this way…there’s a lot of advice about how to be patient with her, read the signals, talk to her, let her cool off, etc…none of which is mine. I’m not known for my political correctness.

Dec 19, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“searchin 4 my better half….is it u?” – Houston Craigslist, 12/19/2010

Spelling DunceAge: 22
Category: Men Seeking Women

“im 5″8 caucausian. with a athletic build. looking for a real women who knws just wat there lookin 4. who has ambitions and goals. im a very laidback at tha same time active. love the outdoors and just enjoying tha small things. can b very romantic and spontanious, if given that chance…. u only live once so why not be tha best u can b and give your best and all. want that myself in return sumday. if interested hit me up. pics uh plus”

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You, sir, have pushed me over the edge of my relative grammatical ambivalence. While I’m kind of a word nerd, I’m willing to let some spelling errors fly. But then I saw your post. You have both been the catalyst for, and have won, the first ever OKGetSerious.com Horrendous Spelling award.

What’s a caucausian? A kid who was raised by crows?

Why are you looking for A real WOMEN? You are either looking for real women, or you are looking for A real WOMAN. Tha? Uh? Sumday? Knws? Wat? U? Best U can B? “A” athletic build? Wat ‘there’ lookin 4?

I wonder what the OK Get Serious “Bad Speller of the Week” award should look like. I’m open to suggestions. Ideas anyone? I’m thinking a penis with a dunce cap, but then I don’t want to ignore the poor-spelling ladies either. It’s just usually the guys.

Dec 16, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“why am i missing my girlfriend so much and why am i so emotional about this?” – Relationship Blog, 12/16/2010

NOTE FROM YOUR FRIENDLY SITE ADMIN: The author of this blog is a friend of mine on Twitter. Her blog is actually pretty good, and you should read it: www.relationships-blog.net. I love the blog and this content is hers; I’m simply snarking about the guy who posted the question.

Age: 26
Category: Men About to Lose Women

“My girlfriend has been staying with me at my house for about a week now.she left earlier tonight cause she had to work.I live in NYC and she lives in delaware.Im gonna really miss her.we both have cried together more than once cause we know we gonna miss each other.

I don’t know how I’m sleep tonight without her being next to me.I’m gonna miss her so much cause I got used to her being here with me.

How do I stop myself from being sad until she comes back again? We only been together for a few months but we love each other and we usually talk on the phone constantly when she not here.

Im 26 and she 20.why am I so emotional and sad about this?I also was like this with my last ex girlfriend who i was with for 2 years

I have no idea how I’m sleep tonight without her being her.I just love beig around her and don’t want her to leave but she had too cause she gotta work”

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Hey bud, let’s address the problems one at a time, shall we?

1. Have you heard of verb tense or contractions? Repeat after me:

“We are going to,” “We’re going to…”
“We have only been,” “We’ve only been…”
“She has to work,” “She will have to work,” “She’s going to work.”

2. I’ll tell you what the reasons are. You’re 26 going on 15, you’re needy and attached like a barnacle to this girl, and if you can’t sleep without her there I’m going to go out on a limb and say you have mommy issues. Take a freaking Ambien and go get a hobby, my friend. She’ll stick around longer.

Dec 10, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Looking” – Seattle Craigslist, 12/10/2010

Age: 20
Category: Men Seeking Women

“I am looking for some one to talk to. I am a english student and a writer. Please do not send me a dating add be a real person”

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Keep studying, buddy.

Nov 11, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“holiday hell” – Chicago Craigslist, 11/11/2010

woman throwing drink on manAge: Not given
Category: Men Seeking Women

“Not looking to make love, I have that at home. What I don’t have at home is someone to fuck. Need someone to chill with, smoke a cigarette, drink a beer and watch a football game or just fuck. U know, kind of like when you get home from a long hard day at the office and you just feeling like doing it. Perhaps when you’re watching your favorite show or watch you work on your lap top in your heels and panties? And then enjoy a nice cup of coffee wrapped in a warm blanket, our bare bodies still warm from the hot sex…”

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Really, dude? You “make love” at home but you just want a girl to fuck on the side? Please describe the scene when you’re “making love” to your supposed-to-be-significant other. “I love you so much honey, it’s just that I can’t call you degrading names and spank you.” The really sad part is, you probably could…but you don’t talk to this woman you LOVE (riiiiiiiggghht) and don’t realize she’s probably starving for you to do something interesting sexually for the first time in your pathetic sex life.

Yeah, and women work on their computers in panties and heels all the time too, right? Moron. Well, I guess the ones you’re sending $100 for 10 minutes over PayPal are, so you can watch them on their webcams. Then they turn off their cameras, take a long hot shower to wash all the YOU off them, put on their sweats and watch 30 Rock.

If you got anywhere near these women for real, the only place that hot cup of coffee would be is in your lap or thrown into your eyes while they dialed 911.

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