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X Marks the G Spot « OK, Get Serious!
Browsing articles in "X Marks the G Spot"
Sep 2, 2012
OK Get Serious Admin

“Spanking Sunday” – Chicago Craigslist, 09/02/2012

Age: 49
Category: Men Seeking Women

Seeking submissive with cute butt needing a dominant,handsome man with a firm hand for serious yet fun role play.

Yeah buddy, you’re going to be spanking. Just not what you think you’re going to be spanking.

Hint: Look here.

Look in the mirror to see who you'll be spanking. FAPFAPFAPFAP

Feb 4, 2012
OK Get Serious Admin

“white male needs to lick sweet pussy” – Atlanta Craigslist, 02/04/2012

Age: 50
Category: Men Seeking Women

Who needs a good pussy licking? Age and race unimportant. I like a lady with meat on her bones.

Let’s make this happen, baby.

girl with meat on her bonespussy licking

Sep 8, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“finger me while I deepthroat you at the park” – Chicago Craigslist, 09/07/2011

Sexy girl faking a car breakdown

Age: 23
Category: Casual encounters women seeking men

“We’ll meet in the playground, you’ll finger me and maybe eat me out and I’ll go down on you, so deep, that you may cum immediately. I’m hot, 23, brunette and love to give head. Let’s meet at the park at <street 1> and <street 2>.  msg me on aim <user name obscured to protect the mindless> if you want to do this :)”

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I can’t wait to read about the mugging at this park in the police blotter tomorrow.

Aug 21, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“the simple things” – Portland Craigslist, 08/21/2011

Take my cracks

Age: 29
Category: Women Seeking Men

“I’m a straight forward, sincere, with a nice body. I’m trying to discover a guy to spend a bit of time with, and see if some thing happens. I have to have a guy with a love for life. I can be a little bit smart assed, I have to have a guy who can take my cracks.”

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Is anyone else as amused as I am that this girl claims to be smart assed, then says she wants a guy who can “take her cracks?”

Jun 26, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“La recherche du mâle français blanc célibataire à Chicago” – Chicago Craigslist, 06/26/2011

French Fattie

Age: 49
Category: Women seeking men

“Mon français n’est pas si bon mais j’ai le grand amour pour la culture. Je suis la femme professionnelle noire simple qui cherche le mâle simple qui a grandi en France pour la cour. Je ne suis pas une petite femme, pas une grande femme non plus, donc j’aime mes hommes avec un peu de viande sur leurs os. Si vous êtes sérieux, attachez s’il vous plaît une photo ET mettez les mots “j’aime vos yeux verts” dans le titre du texte. Je vous contacterai avec une photo. De nouveau, envoyez s’il vous plaît une photo et mettez “je m’aime vos yeux verts” dans le titre de votre note. Merci beaucoup.”

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Alright, it’s been decades since I took French, but here is the closest translation I can come up with on first read without going to the Google translator.

“My French isn’t good, but I have a great love for the culture. I am a simple, professional black woman who is looking for a simple man who can have a conversation in French tonight. I’m not a small girl, but a BBW, and I also like my men to have a little meat on their bones. If you’re serious, attach a picture AND put the words “I love your green eyes” in the subject. I will contact you with one photo. Again, please attach one photo and write “I love your green eyes” in the subject of your email. Thank you very much.”

Look lady, I don’t know whether you actually want to speak French or if you think this is a clever way of offering “French lessons,” but you’re not getting that fat ass anywhere near me.

Mar 10, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“Any nudist in the area??” – Milwaukee Craigslist, 03/10/2011

Looking for a nudist in MilwaukeeAge: 35
Category: Men Seeking Women

“I’ve always wanted to try something nudist like…..such as a beach, resort, party, etc but never had the chance. To start out with i’d like to do something safe like hanging out at home w/someone testing it out before i take the big leap.  Any girls out there who can show me the ropes or help me practice? I’m a good looking guy (i’ve been told), 6ft tall, i can send a picture for apperance but i’m athletic/slender build so i think you’d be happily surprised.”

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Yeah, buddy, the girls are totally buying the “get naked at my place first so I can feel comfortable getting naked in public” approach. Points for creativity, though, no matter how transparent. Some girl you end up dating is going to put you through the paces to see if you’ll do dishes, go furniture shopping with her,  buy her flowers and remember random bizarre anniversary dates that are only important to her (“Honey, this is the anniversary of the first time we sat on my couch together, do you remember?”) before she marries you, so why not turn the tables and get her to have sex with you before you take her out anywhere? You’ve got some nads, my friend, but I wish you luck.

Jan 22, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“happy hour? good convo” – Sacramento Craigslist, 01/21/2011

Asian Hippie GirlAge: 32
Category: Women seeking men

“Hi pretty much what the title says just seeing in anyone wants to grab a drink this evening? Or after work?

I’m a down to earth and laid back asian female.

Send a pic and tell me your favorite drink!”

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I’ll be ordering an “I’m-not-too-lazy-to-spell-conversation” martini.

Okay, I take that back. You had me at “Asian female.” You can say “convo” if you want to.

What? It’s my blog, I’m allowed. Oh, shut up.

Dec 30, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“She fantasizes about being your bad girl, your very very bad girl” – Examiner Seattle Dating Advice, 04/29/2010

frying pan smackdownAge: Not given
Category: Dating Advice
Source: http://www.examiner.com/dating-advice-in-seattle/she-fantasizes-about-being-your-bad-girl-very-very-bad-girl

I won’t re-post the whole article, but here are the 4 steps that Examiner says you need to take in order to turn your girlfriend or wife into that bad girl you want.

1. Make it a habit to compliment her on a daily basis.
2. Buy her lingerie she normally wouldn’t buy herself.
3. Become her workout partner.
4. Make efforts to have spontaneous sex outside the bedroom.

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If I constantly shower her with compliments, buy her latex underwear, follow her to the gym every day to work out with her, and try to bone her in the bathroom at Wendy’s…I’m pretty sure her first reaction will be to get a restraining order.

Dec 4, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“No title” – Chicago Craigslist, 12/04/2010

Age: 46
Category: Men Seeking Women

“Normal, attractive, interesting SWM iso similar woman who enjoys wine, art, dining, 420 and kinky sex.”

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Let’s have Bordeaux at a ritzy gallery opening, then go get baked and gag each other and the dog.

Nov 11, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“holiday hell” – Chicago Craigslist, 11/11/2010

woman throwing drink on manAge: Not given
Category: Men Seeking Women

“Not looking to make love, I have that at home. What I don’t have at home is someone to fuck. Need someone to chill with, smoke a cigarette, drink a beer and watch a football game or just fuck. U know, kind of like when you get home from a long hard day at the office and you just feeling like doing it. Perhaps when you’re watching your favorite show or watch you work on your lap top in your heels and panties? And then enjoy a nice cup of coffee wrapped in a warm blanket, our bare bodies still warm from the hot sex…”

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Really, dude? You “make love” at home but you just want a girl to fuck on the side? Please describe the scene when you’re “making love” to your supposed-to-be-significant other. “I love you so much honey, it’s just that I can’t call you degrading names and spank you.” The really sad part is, you probably could…but you don’t talk to this woman you LOVE (riiiiiiiggghht) and don’t realize she’s probably starving for you to do something interesting sexually for the first time in your pathetic sex life.

Yeah, and women work on their computers in panties and heels all the time too, right? Moron. Well, I guess the ones you’re sending $100 for 10 minutes over PayPal are, so you can watch them on their webcams. Then they turn off their cameras, take a long hot shower to wash all the YOU off them, put on their sweats and watch 30 Rock.

If you got anywhere near these women for real, the only place that hot cup of coffee would be is in your lap or thrown into your eyes while they dialed 911.

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