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OK, Get Serious!
Sep 5, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Need some company this morning” – Dallas Craigslist, 09/05/2010

Age: 26
Category: Women Seeking Men

“I feel really lonelly, it’s been awhile since i’ve had someone to cuddle with.Thats really all I want. If you seek the same, lets get in touch.Nothing pervy or creepy please, I’ll need to meet you in public like in a mall or something.”

#############

Three Rules:

1. You’re clueless.
2. Own a weapon.
3. Know Jiujitsu.

Sep 3, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“sleepover friend” – Chicago Craigslist, 09/03/2010

Age: 32
Category: Men Seeking Women

“miss having someone in my bed with me. (don’t miss the relationship part)

would love to meet a nice sane girl who’d like to come sleep over.

if things go well, maybe breakfast in the morning. “

#############

Would like to meet a nice sane girl who will climb into bed with a total stranger without a second thought. Spread your legs for me and maybe in the morning I’ll toast you up a nice burnt bagel. Alright – ready, set, dial! (tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick) . . . Why isn’t my phone ringing?

Sep 3, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Would love to be with another man’s wife” – New York Craigslist, 09/03/2010

Age: 35
Category: Men Seeking Women

“Have a recurring fantasy of a wild affair with a beautiful, attached lady….could it be you? Am 35, white, in shape, very good looking, in a relationship that is getting boring….Sneak away with me for a couple of hours this weekend and see where it goes….”

#############

Oh, the places you’ll go!

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Wrong Places!
You’re off and away!

You have filth in your head.
You have no moral thought.
You can fuck yourself
AND that wife that you want.
You’re a horny old coot. And you want booty now.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide which spouse to plow.

You’ll look up and down wives. Look ’em over with care.
About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your pants full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you’re too dumb to go down any single girl street.

And you may not find any
you’ll want to go down on.
In that case, of course,
you’ll still be a moron.

Their legs are opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as slimy
and creepy as you.

Oh, the places you’ll go!

Aug 31, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Can you keep a secret?” – Chicago Craigslist 08/31/2010

Age: 45
Category: Men Seeking Women

“I’ve decided upon this post after much contemplation about how to proceed with finding a woman who is no less than intellectually stimulating among many other things. There is a delicate balance of beauty both internally and externally that are unequivocally maintained by constant repositioning of the mind body and soul towards growth and wisdom.

On a lighter note: I am a fun and loving extremely sarcastic individual who is relatively happily married (I simply need more mental and emotional challenge) and looking for mental stimulation and companionship from a woman who has a wealth of knowledge to offer me. Only men or women who believe that they no longer require learning begin their own processes of death by being swallowed in pride… I am looking for a woman who is confident in herself and goal oriented. If we end up having that elusive “chemistry” then the sky is the limit….I am a loyal person who expects nothing less. Since I’m married and in a somewhat public position discretion is a must.

If this post intrigues you please reply with a little about yourself and what you are looking for.”

#############

Yeah, um, my wife is stupid so I’m shopping around. I’m married and I’m advertising for some booty on the side, but I’m a loyal person and expect nothing less from you. Got it? I want to put you in a “public position,” if ya know what I’m sayin’.

Aug 31, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“plump redhead ISO boy scout to set up camp between her creamy thighs” – Chicago Craigslist, 08/31/2010

Age: 36
Category: Women Seeking Men

“do you know how to make a fire with your bare hands? well, i know how to help pitch a tent.

let’s go camping together.

interested? please send me a picture and tell me what kind of gear you have.”

#############

Um, I’ll tell you what kind of gear I have. It is now a very, very limp tent. Which you are not allowed to touch.

Aug 31, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“I need groceries!!!” – Chicago Craigslist, 08/31/2010

Age: 29
Category: Women Seeking Men

“I have been really broke lately and I have no food in my fridge.

If anyone is willing to help me out with some groceries…maybe you can take me to the store or even just give me a gift card for the groceries I would be eternaly grateful!!!

I appreciate your help!!”

#############

I don’t know whether to be disdainful or sad right now.

Aug 29, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Looking for generous sugardade” – Boston Craigslist, 08/29/2010

Age: 24
Category: Women Seeking Men

“Hi there.. Its a lovely afternoon, sun just went down, and the whether is nice. I’m looking to enjoy the evening/night with a generous sweet, fun loving gent. I’m just a lovely, attractive, sweet, fun loving, and sexy women. I like wine, music, and playing game. Light dancing at home is fun too..”

#############

I’m women. I like playing game. You generous. Be sugardade, whatever that is. I horny, broke. Do light dance, you light wallet. Grunt grunt.

Aug 29, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Got Big Boobs and love to laugh?” – Boston Craigslist, 08/29/2010

Age: 38
Category: Men Seeking Women

“Then say hello to this tall, passionate, witty single man. Put BIG BOOBS in your reply please :)”

#############

You can have no teeth, no job, no education and it’s okay if you haven’t showered in a week. Just make sure you bring those big boppers with ya. If you respond to this ad, your level of classiness should just about match mine, so we’re all good.

Aug 16, 2010
zoeyy1313

“Tattooed, smokin, drinkin chillin type of girl”- Chicago Craigslist, 08/16/10

Age:  20
Category: Women Seeking Men

“im not looking to put too much about me on craigslist. but if you email me i will tell you much more. i am 20. have many tats. tan.. naturally. lots of fun. open to many things. smoke and drink. looking for a guy.. 19-26 id say.. has to be a cool nice guy. not a jerk or meathead. like me for me. dont try and change me. looking for many types of guys.. sorry not interested in everybody!! but i dont just judge by looks. send me a pic and something about yourself and i’ll tell you much more!!

#############

Well if the title of this ad isn’t enough to make you click that big red “x” in the upper right corner of your screen allow me to go on. If this girl ever finds her match, I can just picture their first date now. It starts with a quick stop at the drive through smoke shop for a carton of cigarettes that more than likely won’t even last through the night. Then on to getting stewed off ofa 30 pack of PBR. Finally, matching tramp stamps at some dive of a tattoo shop. Oh yea, definitely a match made in trailer park heaven.

Aug 13, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Single Dad looking for a naughty babysitter” – Chicago Craigslist, 08/13/2010

Age: Not given
Category: Men Seeking Women

“I am a single dad with 2 little kids. I am divorced and this is my weekend with them. I would love the help of a babysitter for the night. Come on over and help me with the kids. Read them stories and put them to bed, etc. Then when they are in bed we can play. I will make a pass at the hot babysitter and show you daddy’s naughty side. “

#############

Hopefully you haven’t graduated high school yet. Come on over, read my kids stories and then we’ll give them a first-hand lesson in statutory rape.

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