Warning: strpos() expects parameter 1 to be string, object given in /home/serious/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 4148

Warning: strpos() expects parameter 1 to be string, object given in /home/serious/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 4148

Warning: strpos() expects parameter 1 to be string, object given in /home/serious/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 4148
OK, Get Serious!
Jul 7, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“maidforyou” – Chicago Craigslist, 07/07/2010

Age: 64
Category: Men Seeking Women

“any woman looking for a sissy maid”

#############

Why am I reminded of “Herbert the Pervert” on Family Guy?

Jul 7, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Natural RedHead!!!” – Chicago Craigslist, 07/07/2010

Age: 28
Category: Women Seeking Men

“5’4 red hair green eyes 115lbs long legs 34b

_eight
four_
_seven_
eight_
_seven
five_
_three
one_
_five
six_ “

#############

My pimp will answer.

Jul 2, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Visions and dreams” – Chicago Craigslist, 07/02/2010

Age: 31
Category: Women Seeking Men

“Gosh this is hard. Ok here goes. I am a good hearted woman,not hard to plz….I do not like a lier nor do i like a cheat,and i will not deal with one….i am a hard working single mother,,I love my kids more than anyone or anything they will always come 1st in my life no matter wat..and if i find a man I would like to be with he must except my kids as he excepts me understand its the hole package not just half and no i do not need no man to father or be a father to my kids they do have a daddy that loves them very much….i luv to watch movies and just chill i do not care for the fast life i do not have time for clubing and partying all da time I am a groan woman not a teenager dat wants to party my life away…..and a man must have a job i do not need or want another child to raise…I do not like to fight all of dat is uncalled for……. If I sound like someone you’re looking for, you’re more than welcome to email me back.

#############

Oh God, here we go. She posted her picture and she’s actually quite pretty, so I’m killing any opportunity for yours truly. But come on, you’ve got a spell checker on that computer, woman. Here comes the heckling:

“Gosh this is hard.  (That’s what SHE said!) Ok here goes. I am a good hearted woman,not hard to plz (later on you talk about not being a teenager, how about we don’t type in “text speak” then?) ….I do not like a lier (how about a liar who can spell?) nor do i like a cheat,and i will not deal with one….i am a hard working single mother,, (in what part of the English language did they ever teach you to use two consecutive commas?) I love my kids more than anyone or anything they will always come 1st in my life no matter wat (run on sentence – and seriously, you don’t know how to spell WHAT?)..and if i find a man I would like to be with he must except (accept…except isn’t a verb, brain stem) my kids as he excepts (aaaaaggghhh) me understand its the hole (ha ha ha, it’s the “hole” package…wow) package not just half and no i do not need no man to father or be a father to my kids they do have a daddy that loves them very much….i luv (again with the teenage text-speak) to watch movies and just chill (PERIOD…what’s up with the run-ons?) i do not care for the fast life i do not have time for clubing (what’s clubing?) and partying all da (okay, if you can’t say “the,” can you at least WRITE “the?”) time I am a groan woman (excellent…a “groan” woman that is the “hole” package) not a teenager dat (dat, dis, dese, dem, doze) wants to party my life away…..and a man must have a job i do not need or want another child to raise…I do not like to fight all of dat is uncalled for……. If I sound like someone you’re looking for, you’re more than welcome to email me back.

——> The only thing I don’t understand about that whole ad is that she got “you’re” correct.

Jul 2, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“A pre-date drink before our dates tonight?” – Boston Craigslist, 07/02/2010

Age: 35
Category: Men Seeking Women

“So you’ve got a date tonight, I’ve got a date tonight. Doesn’t that call for a pre-date? Already all dressed up, chat and flirt for a bit over a drink or two, and then head off to … well, to our dates?

Me: very well educated, professional, well-dressed, athletic and trim, and, yes, sane. Looking for someone … well, similar.

Around Back Bay, ideally?”

#############

If this guy pulls this off, he’s a freaking genius. “Hey, how about you and I get together before our dates to see if we have a ‘backup bang’ option in case our other dates go bad?” Nicely played, my good man.

Jul 2, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Your husband is here” – Chicago Craigslist, 07/02/2010

Age: Not Given
Category: Men Seeking Women

“Looking for a nice woman for marriage.”

#############

I’m on the registered sex offender list and hoping you don’t look me up before we seal the deal.

Jul 2, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Lonely Married executive” – Dallas Craigslist, 07/02/2010

Age: 36
Category: Men Seeking Women

“First the sugar….
I’m a happy, fun, easy going married unsatisfied man looking for new romance. To experience those butterflies you first get when you meant someone special.
Now the spice…
Looking for a discrete romantic and passionate affair.
And everything nice.
I’m kind, sensitive, smart, funny, open minded and adventurous. I am successful, higly educated Asian guy in a executive busy job with a Phd.
No really good way to write an add like this except – perhaps – to be truthful.
I’m been in my marriage for many years and it’s fizzled more than a little bit.
I’m looking for a White women for a whirl-wind romance who is in a similar situation. If your are single i will consider if you understand the boundaries and if you are drama free. I can help you out with an Bi-monthly allowance… Goodluck in your search.

Do write and tell me about you…”

#############

I won’t pay for therapy, but I will pay you to help me step out on my wife. I have a PhD in being an asshole.

Jul 2, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Do you think your boobs are too big?” – Chicago Craigslist, 07/02/2010

Age: 28
Category: Men Seeking Women

“I don’t. Bigger the better tighter the sweater. Love that line. haha.
Anyway, not sure if this should be on the casual section but here we go.
I’d like to meet a nice busty women tonight. I’m very serious.
If you’re a bigger woman with a really big bust and you ever thought about having a cute professional just sucking on your boobs,
I’m the guy for you. You’ll enjoy my company as I’m respectful, am a gentlemen, and just a cool guy!
I’m 28 5’10” live in downtown. Would love to meet tonight and no I’m not looking for sex, just want to appreciate a woman’s well endowed bosom.”

#############

I’m a respectful gentleman. Who wants to suck on your boobs.

What the…? Okay, if any of you women are desperate enough to entertain this guy’s offer, don’t forget your pepper spray. Seriously.

Jul 2, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“You’d be stupid not to click on this…” – Chicago Craigslist, 07/02/2010

Age: 27
Category: Women Seeking Men

“hiiiiiii!

27 f nwi looking to meet new people in the area.

About me: I’m fun! Hardworking! Educated! No kids/Never been married. Family oriented. Won’t put up with BS. I don’t do games and I don’t appreciate someone who does. I love the outdoors, movies, concerts, the beach, WHITE SOX. I’m not looking to jump into a serious relationship right away, just living everday to its fullest and seeing what is out there. If it happens I’m not opposed to it.

You should be funny, charming, easy to talk to, fun to be around, educated, driven, ambitious, lack drama, no drugs, and hardworking.

you should not be: arrogant, overly cocky, shy, dramatic, addicted to anything, lazy, or a major D-bag.

lets see where this leads me….

#############

I’m guessing it’s going to lead you about where you’ve always gotten with your laundry list of requirements. Nowhere. Lighten up. I’m not stupid for not clicking on your ad, I’m stupid because I did click on it. There’s 30 seconds of my life I’ll never get back. At least you get brownie points for writing “oriented” instead of “orientated.” That would have been the icing on the cake.

Jun 26, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Elmo today” – Phoenix Craigslist, 06/26/2010

Age: 35
Category: Men Seeking Women

“I have 3 extra tickets to the show at 2pm today. They are suite tickets.. Me and my girls are going they are 7 and 3. Interested in join us??”

#############

I want to be one of the muppet judges so I can heckle you for inviting some woman you’ve never met to a show with your very young children (I wonder how many years of therapy they’ll end up needing for THAT), and for having the lamest date idea of your life. Or probably anyone’s life. But at least you’re efficient; you can ruin three girls’ days at the same time.

Jun 26, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Vacation time!” – Phoenix Craigslist, 06/26/2010

Age: 26
Category: Women Seeking Men

“Hi there, Im here on vacations and i would like to know someone who can show me around..

If you are interested in knowing a little bit about me put some place we could go and i will reply at you!

have a good one!

Your pic gets mine!

J”

#############

When we meets, maybe we can go out to get something to eats and when you take me home I’ll kiss at you.

Feed Miss Milky

Categories

Posts by Month