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OK, Get Serious!
Jun 25, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“just lookin for some summer fun :)” – Chicago Craigslist, 06/25/2010

Age: 23
Category: Women Seeking Women

“I am just looking for a fun hot girl to swim, layout, & shop with. Also to have some fun with 🙂 I’ve never been with a female before and want to try it out. I’m excited about summer and meeting you!! im white, in shape, and in my early 20s. Please be around the same and please dont waste my time if your not serious about this. Send a pic to recieve one of mine. Not interested in butch. Thanks!

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2 twenty-something girly girls getting it on. I don’t really have anything to make fun of here, I just happened across this ad. What? Ssssssshhhh, I’m having a moment.

Jun 25, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“TAKE A NICE HOT SHIT IN MY MOUTH!” – Chicago Craigslist, 06/25/2010

Age: 26
Category: Men Seeking Men

“GL WHITE DUDE HERE 5’11 165LBS AVG BUILD UR PIC GETS MINE LETS DO THIS!”

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I might take the guy up on this just to punish him for writing this ad.

Jun 25, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“OMG Bored to tears. Please help!” – Chicago Craigslist, 06/25/2010

Age: 38
Category: Men Seeking Women

“Happy hour has left me high and dry! Coworkers have gone, family is out of town. What is there to do???”

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Oh, I don’t know. At 38 years old and whining about nothing to do on a Friday night, I’m guessing that working on something to make yourself successful is out of the question. “Waaaaaaaahhh, I’m bored mommy, come and entertain me!” Douchebag.

Jun 25, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“NO SPAM Huh Huh hey baby…come to butthead” – Chicago Craigslist, 06/25/2010

Age: 24
Category: Men Seeking Women

“If I get a response with a pic asking for my pic and wanting to meet just from posting this I will SHIT myself!”

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Careful, buddy. You might just find yourself a girl who’s into that.

Jun 25, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Extreme Phone Sex” – Chicago Craigslist, 06/25/2010

Age: Not Given
Category: Casual Encounters (woman seeking man)

“I have fantasies involving you and “man’s best friend”. If you are into that play and can spin an erotic fantasy for me over the phone, let’s play. I do not care what you look like. Give me a taste of this fantasy on your mind and send your phone number. Safe and discreet and looking for now. No email exchange. “

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I don’t care what you look like, just get on the phone and tell me about your dog’s slimy pink erection and how we can give doggie style a new meaning.

Jun 25, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“a princess in need of spoiling” – Chicago Craigslist, 06/24/2010

Age: 22
Category: Women Seeking Men

“I want to be spoiled rotten
I need a gentleman who is willing to take me out for lunch or dinner, shopping, outdoor activities, a club maybe? um I just want a fun day
someone who is nice and does not expect anything in return.
im nice, sweet, fun, pretty you wont regret hanging out with me 😉
email me if you want to know more about me or would like to see pictures of me
thanks!”

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I grew up with a sense of entitlement but never earned a thing in my life. Be a nice guy. Shower me with material things. I will give you nothing back. You won’t regret hanging out with me. I’m amazingly hot and you can’t fuck me, but I’m telling you, you won’t regret that. Why do you look frustrated? Ooooohhh look, shiny earrings. Buy me those. Hey, aren’t you lucky you get to spend time with a pretty girl draining your bank account? God, mom would be so proud. Yours or mine, take your pick.

Jun 24, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

Texting after date – an eHarmony subscriber asks for dating advice, 05/27/2010

Age: Not given
Category: Love & Dating Advice

“I had a first date and thought it was going well. Then, at end of the date, she did not want to kiss goodnight and backed out of previously made plans.

Other than that, all other indications were that she was still interested, but those are two very big “ifs” as far as I am concerned.

Not being sure how to read things, instead of calling, I texted her the next day to say I had a good time, etc. I did not hear back.

Did I not hear back because the text was an insult or because she is just no longer interested?

#############

Dude. She freaking hates you. Knock knock, anybody home? Whoooooo.

Jun 24, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Write me a poem” – Chicago Craigslist, 06/24/2010

Age: 27
Category: Women Seeking Men

“Write me a poem or send me one that has already been written. I’m a literary type of a girl and I love poetry that makes me think.”

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There once was a woman on Craigslist
Who hoped for words that were ageless
She looked for a poet
But she should have known it
The crap she received would be heinous.

Jun 24, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Do you match this description??” – Madison Craigslist, 06/17/2010

Age: 45
Category: Women Seeking Men

“Hi, this is so much harder than I thought it would be. I am hoping to meet a kind man that meets the following criteria:

He will be:
between 40-50 years of age, non-smoker, social drinker only, rarely swears
Has a good job/career and is financially stable
Mentally stable
Around 6 feet or taller
Stocky build but not HUGE
Practice good hygiene – brush your teeth, shower daily, use deodorant and wear cologne once in a while
Positive attitude – loves to laugh, goof around
Family-oriented but does not want more children
Has many interests that he would like to share with me (and I with him)
Will attend church occasionally with me
Likes the arts/music
Has goals/dreams
Is a TRUE gentleman -can you define that????
One-woman-man
Is huggable and has a very affecionate side
Will treat me like a queen (and I will treat him as a King)
Loves to travel
Will respect and trust me
Knows how to communicate (I’m serious)
Wants to share the rest of his life with his best friend (ME)
We will be 80 years old and still holding hands…..

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….because that’s how old she’s going to be before she can find anyone who meets her criteria.

How much do you want to bet this 45-year-old already looks like a 65-year-old?

Dear “so much harder, ” look in the mirror. Unless you’re completely hot, look younger than your age, can support yourself, can talk about the details of what is going on with your favorite football team, are completely calm & collected & never freak out over stupid things, have the ability to intelligently discuss world events, wear sexy clothes often just for me, cook incredible food, can juggle 6 bowling pins using your hands and feet, and give the world’s best blowjobs on demand…then shut the hell up.

Of course it’s harder than you thought it would be, mein fuehrer! Sig heil!

Yeesh.

Jun 24, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Are you married but yet unhappy?” – Madison Craigslist, 06/24/2010

Age: 52
Category: Men Seeking Women

“I am too. I am looking for someone to text, email, talk to, walks and just spend some stolen moments with. I am a nice guy, 5’8″ tall, 165#. I love being outdoors. If you are in need of a friend like I am, I would love to hear from you.”

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I’ve been married forever. I can feel the life draining from me daily. I’m looking for someone to text, email, talk to, walks and…ah hell, who am I kidding? I want to nail something young, dumb and pretty before I can’t get it up anymore.

Feed Miss Milky

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