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OK, Get Serious!
Mar 28, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“Is responding quickly a sign of desperation?” – eHarmony Advice, 03/12/2011

Desperate GuyAge: Unknown
Category: Men without a clue
Original Article Source: http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/dating-advice/using-eharmony/50663-responding-quickly-sign-desperation.html?cid=2091&aid=0323115

“I got a communication just now as I was checking out profiles, should I respond immediately or have her wait a while, I don’t want to look desperate, or does it even matter?”

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Right, because posting this question on eHarmony doesn’t make you look desperate.

Mar 24, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“Need the wify type” – Orlando Craigslist, 03/24/2011

Dread Gangsta ChoadAge: 20
Category: Men seeking women

“hey im looking for someone who can spend timewho likes watching moves going to the beach and just showing a men how to have fun i need some who can be foreal and not about games send me a pic with status and i promis i will send someone color age body doesnt mater wat does is your personality im not a ugly guy im blACK WITH DREADS I LIVE BY MY SELF AND IM A FULL TIME STUDENT”

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Because it’s “wify” to watch “moves,” go to the beach and show “a” men how to have fun. Plus, if you “foreal” he will send someone. He won’t meet you himself, but maybe he’ll send another one of his winner buddies if you’re lucky. If you know how to separate words like “timewho,” divide run-on sentences into actual coherent ones, put letters back into words that he has removed them from (as in, half of “wat” he writes), well you’re in luck girl! He wants to marry you! What are you waiting for, start shopping for your dress!

Mar 21, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“trust me!!!” – Phoenix Craigslist, 03/20/2011

creepy craigslist stalkerAge: 22
Category: Men seeking women

“send ur pic im waiting”

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I’m (twitch) waiting (twitch)…waiting…(twitch twitch twitch) I’M NOT A PSYCHO (twitch)

Mar 16, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“Looking for an Oasis” – Chicago Craigslist, 03/15/2011

Cheating Wife

cheater cheater penis eater

Age: 45
Category: Strictly platonic (um, really?)

“Looking for an oasis with a man who is tall, handsome, intelligent, sophisticated and funny. (it is my ad so I can be selective and go for the gold) I am happy at home, so do not want to change that. Send me an email and we can chat!”

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I’m happy at home, it’s just that my husband isn’t tall, intelligent, sophisticated or funny. But he has a LOT of money. Let’s go to your place so I can bounce on your tall, intelligent, sophisticated and funny penis for awhile.

Mar 12, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“Understanding How Men Think” – Your-Personal-Relationship-Advice.com Blog, 03/12/2011

How to Understand the Way Men ThinkAge: All
Category: Relationship Advice

This is my response to the blog post / article Understanding How Men Think by @Love_Aid. I want to preface my response by acknowledging that all the bold advice text belongs to and is copyrighted by @Love_Aid. I’m weighing in on it because, well…I’m a man.

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– Men are crazy about the smile of a woman. True. A nice, genuine smile – especially accompanied by smiling eyes (a little crinkle, dancing pupils for lack of better words) – is something that sets us more at ease. It’s not necessarily a physical attraction thing, but it makes us feel more comfortable with you and less like you’re doing a background check in your head.

– A man would do anything to make you notice him. False. A boy would do anything to make you notice him. A man is confident enough to know that he’s worth noticing, and that if you don’t, someone else will. In fact, a man that goes out of his way to do things that are really nice and romantic but does them too soon is the guy most likely to end up in the “friend zone.”

– Men hate it when you talk to them about your past relationships or ex boyfriend. Both true and false. It’s never more true than on the first few dates, or before you’ve slept together. But if we know that you’re really with us and no one else, if an ex is brought up once in awhile it’s not always bad. If you keep bringing up things that he did well or that you loved about him on a regular basis, yeah, that will irritate us. If you tell us you’re having an emotional or irrational reaction to a situation that’s sparked by an experience with an ex, that actually helps us understand you better and we appreciate it.

The man that loves you would like to be the only one that you talk with. False. So, so totally wrong I can’t even express how wrong it is. We know you have guy friends, and we have friends that are women also. Sometimes either men or women may have remained friends with an ex, but this doesn’t mean we’re sleeping with them. Do we want to be in the loop? Of course. But being the only person of the same gender that you talk to or have as a friend? That is a requirement of a jealous person, not a healthy one.

Your man also needs to hear, once in awhile, that you love him. True, sort of. As long as the “once in awhile” part is in there. We don’t need to hear it a lot. But we like it when you get naked with us a lot, that helps. 😉

If a man teases you, he might like you. True. Almost 100% of the time. We do joke around with female friends just like we’d joke around with male friends for the most part, although we’ll temper the vulgarity to some extent. But if he’s busting on you “a little extra” the way he might bust on his own sister, he likes you.

If a man tries to talk to you seriously, then you should listen, because it will not happen too often. True, but mercifully so. As a woman, do you really want a dude who’s serious or brooding all the time? Or do you want someone with a brain who’s also fun but can be serious when necessary? Most women I know prefer the latter, and most men prefer to be the latter. Unfortunately, as stated earlier, there are just a lot of boys out there. The boys will complain about the state of various things from politics to social etiquette to money to religion and more. Men may say and do things you don’t agree with, but they will take action, and if you’re the one he’s into, he wants you to be on the journey with him. Even at the times you don’t agree. He wants you to have a strong opinion, and maybe even argue points with you – but if he’s into you, whether he agrees or not, and whether he says so or not, he’s listening.

A man will not think less of you if you invite him out. True. But for the most part, we like to make a plan and invite you to share it with us. We don’t just want to delegate all the planning to you and then go along with everything. Well, those of us who don’t need mommy to take care of us anymore…can’t think of anything less attractive to a woman, but there are unfortunately plenty of guys like this. For your benefit, women: That is a Red Flag with a capital R. Avoid those dudes like the plague.

Have an opinion? Weigh in. Leave a comment below.

Mar 10, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“Any nudist in the area??” – Milwaukee Craigslist, 03/10/2011

Looking for a nudist in MilwaukeeAge: 35
Category: Men Seeking Women

“I’ve always wanted to try something nudist like…..such as a beach, resort, party, etc but never had the chance. To start out with i’d like to do something safe like hanging out at home w/someone testing it out before i take the big leap.  Any girls out there who can show me the ropes or help me practice? I’m a good looking guy (i’ve been told), 6ft tall, i can send a picture for apperance but i’m athletic/slender build so i think you’d be happily surprised.”

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Yeah, buddy, the girls are totally buying the “get naked at my place first so I can feel comfortable getting naked in public” approach. Points for creativity, though, no matter how transparent. Some girl you end up dating is going to put you through the paces to see if you’ll do dishes, go furniture shopping with her,  buy her flowers and remember random bizarre anniversary dates that are only important to her (“Honey, this is the anniversary of the first time we sat on my couch together, do you remember?”) before she marries you, so why not turn the tables and get her to have sex with you before you take her out anywhere? You’ve got some nads, my friend, but I wish you luck.

Mar 4, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“seeking younger women” and “looking for older women” – San Diego Craigslist, 03/04/2011

Dueling Dating Ads from the Same Dude

Dueling Dating Ads from the Same Dude

Age: 37
Category: Men Seeking Women

Ad #1: “my name is jef i’m 37 yrs old 5’8”tall from san diego, i’m looking for women who are under 35 yrs old from san diego plus include your photo. i am open to any ideas you have”

Ad #2: “i am looking for single women over 35 yrs old from san diego who are looking for anything they are interested in. please include your photo”

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We have learned three things from this ad.

1. This guy is trolling for any woman from any age group that will sleep with him. Except, of course, if you’re actually 35. That’s apparently off limits.

2. WHEN he doesn’t find someone who will sleep with him, he’s hoping he will have some new pictures on which he can ejaculate.

3. He doesn’t have the ability to make a decision, or the creativity to come up with anything to do. Even if you consider meeting him, girls, it’s you will be doing all the planning and decision making. Hot, huh?

He rapid-fire posted these ads right after one another, using the same age and same 2-sentence approach which tells you JACK about him except he’s 5′ 8″ and lazy.

Jef is interested in anyone who is interested in anything. Well, that sure narrows it the hell down, doesn’t it?

No wonder women hate dealing with male online dating ads.

Feb 27, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

What a Girl Wants / What a Guy Wants

Men's Remote vs. Women's Remote

This post is divided into three segments: 1. My dating background, 2. What – after finally playing the dating game in my late 30s & early 40s – women want, and 3. What men want (I figure I’m an authority here, right?). This post is much longer than some of my others, but if you’re either interested or bored with nothing else to do, have a look at it.

My Dating Background

In my younger days, I didn’t have much experience with dating. I was shy, and as much as I wanted to break out of my introverted shell, it was a long time coming. Throughout my first three years of high school, I was about 5′ 4″ and all the other guys towered above me.

I had played baseball from the time I was in 4th grade until my freshman year, but I was so intimidated by the size of the other players that I didn’t even try out for the high school team. In retrospect, I really should have – I had always been at least an above average hitter and I covered a lot of ground in center field with my short legs. I was even on a team where I went from zero to hero, and the team also went from dead last in the league one year to barely losing the championship on a last-play-cloud-of-dust-at-the-plate call the next year. Now, that was not even close to being all of because of me; however, I was an important contributor and my confidence should have soared. But my inferiority complex got the better of me, and while I appreciate having parents who supported freedom and creativity, I probably could have used at least a minor kick in the ass.

My senior year, I grew. Rapidly. I went from 5′ 4″ to the height I am now (5′ 11″) from the beginning of the school year to the end of the summer. There was more a feeling of relief than anything else, but three years of being called a dwarf and a nerd took their toll, and I was now a tall (enough) and good looking guy, but I sure as hell didn’t know it.

The point is, I never had a girlfriend throughout high school. I had a few good friends, and even a few good friends that were girls, but I was always the “friend zone” guy. The sensitive guy that listened and talked to the few women I hung out with after some jerkoff broke their hearts. Again. I went to one homecoming and was asked to take the girl home less than 20 minutes after we showed up – it turned out that nobody else had asked her, and she wanted to be seen there, but she wasn’t into me at all. I went to one “Heart Hop” (Sadie Hawkins) with a girl who I really wasn’t that into, but I was flattered and did want to go to the dance – and then she tongue-blocked me when I tried to kiss her. Rejected by a girl I didn’t even dig that much…apparently she didn’t dig me that much either, but I hadn’t been informed of the “we’re just going as friends” status. I guess I was such a nerd that it was just implied. I didn’t go to junior or senior prom. Junior year, I couldn’t work up the nerve to ask anyone. Senior year, the two girls I mustered the strength to ask said no.

In college, I had one girlfriend, for three years. I was a sensitive wuss the entire time. She had an air of entitlement with her parents that always made me uncomfortable, but as far as our relationship went, she was in charge. She told her parents what was up, she told me what was up, she made the plans, and on and on. The relationship was really over after a year and a half, but apparently my testicles hadn’t dropped yet. I finally did work up the strength to end it near the end of the third year. It wasn’t pretty, but it was over. Oh, and we did have oral sex, but nothing that ever “worked” – we tried but she was too nervous to relax and I had no clue what the F to do.

Almost immediately after that, I met someone who I fell madly in love with, we were engaged in six weeks, and married in a year. And ended up being married for 17 years, most of which were absolutely wonderful. Good times, bad times, a beautiful daughter, moving up through the ranks (so to speak) with housing and neighborhoods until we had the single family house with two-car garage and huge yard on a cul-de-sac. My (now ex) wife was the first woman I’d ever “gone all the way” with, and she had cast quite a spell over me for numerous reasons, but this was certainly icing on the (cheese)cake.

Then the years passed, and the fact that I had never really had that college experience of dating a lot of people before deciding who was right for me – and frankly having some different experiences in the bedroom – it all added up to me wanting to stray. Not because of anything my ex-wife did or didn’t do; she was and still is an awesome woman. I was immature and frustrated. I did stupid things. She followed up with some stupid shit of her own, and the marriage fell apart from there, but I was the one who started the ball rolling. Sure it takes two, but I’m going to take responsibility for my share, which was quite the hefty share, trust me.

I was separated and then divorced, and the dating I never did back in college ensued. I met one woman who I ended up dating for 2.5 years, and if it had been up to me, I would have been married again. But she fell out of love with me, and to her credit she was straight up about it. It was very tough, and she was “the one who got away,” but I have a lot of respect for her and we are still friends today because of how she handled that.

After her, I basically became a complete manwhore. And discovered that I had developed a level of confidence I never had before, and that I had a pretty good BS meter, and that women tended to like me more because I didn’t care what anyone thought and was generally pretty humorous about it rather than being an asswipe (well, mostly…I have my moments, haha). I’m still a confident guy now, and I don’t really assume women will like me, but I don’t assume they won’t either. We’re all human, we have our likes and dislikes, and I’ll joke around as comfortably with a complete “10” as I will a “3.”

So, through all of this, I’ve discovered that there are pretty common threads between what women want and what men want. Of course, it’s not ALL the same, but these are the most common themes I see.

What Women Want

Women want a well-rounded man of noble character, intelligence, humor and strength.

Women want a man who is funny and sarcastic, but only to a certain point, because if it’s too much it becomes unattractive.

Women want a man who is confident but not arrogant.

Women want a man who has emotional strength, who can support them, and listen but not necessarily try to fix everything.

Women want a man who is sensitive to a point but not to a fault.

Women want a man who won’t put up with all of their shit, but who also won’t be a prick.

Women want a man who is dangerous and exciting, yet stable and nurturing.

Women want a man who is not predictable and can keep them on their toes.

Women want a man who can keep them curling their toes, if you know what I mean. (baw-chicka-wa-waaaaaa)

Women want a man who dresses well, or at least dresses in a unique manner that gives him his own sense of style.

Women want a man who is not chauvinistic, who sees them as whole people, but who has the ability to “not be so nice” and even objectify them in the bedroom, as long as that’s where that stays. Playtime is playtime.

Women want a man who is a good conversationalist, who knows a lot about a particular subject or subjects, and can teach them something.

Women want a man who knows that a woman’s best sex organ is her brain.

Women want a man who understands foreplay, and that it begins (or at least can begin) a lot earlier than any sort of touching or fooling around happens – it can start with sexy words or activities. Women love the buildup and it’s almost as important as the act itself.

Women want a man who won’t make vulgar comments, but is talented at innuendo.

Women want a man who is just mysterious enough that they can’t quite figure him out. Women want a challenge. If they don’t have the challenge, they get bored.

Women want a man who is enlightened and understands modern women, yet will still hold the door for them.

Women are very good at having both the “consistent, caring guy to date” and the “guy who rocks my world in the bedroom” at the same time. They’re also very good at hiding this from the consistent, caring guy. Anyone who tells you that men cheat more, don’t believe them for a minute. Men are just worse at hiding it. Some women will probably comment to dispute this. Those women are the ones doing the cheating. And they feel justified in doing it. I know that you girls aren’t supposed to break the girl code just like I’m not supposed to break the guy code, but since I became the sex guy instead of the consistent guy, I’ve been told a lot. I won’t reveal names, because I don’t want you breaking bad on these sexy women. 😉

Women are very, very sexual creatures and guys who think otherwise are not seeing the whole picture.

Women can lose interest over something a man didn’t even realize was wrong – whether it was words or actions – and once you’ve been moved into “the friend zone,” you’re not getting back out of it.

If men let any of these criteria slide, she will lose interest.

What Men Want

As far as I can tell, us men want three things from women:

1. You should look hot.

2. You should get naked.

3. You should not be a moron when you open your mouth. Although, if you’re hot enough and the sex is good enough, we may let this one slide, at least for awhile.

Conclusion

Based on the requirements of each gender, I’ve decided that from now on, you girls have to buy US dinner to get us in bed or land us as boyfriends and especially husbands. We have more work to do to keep your fickle asses happy.

Feb 26, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“really?” – Chicago Craigslist, 02/26/2011

bitchy womanAge: 30
Category: Women seeking men

“really? really? I have tried to post a few times, but I think there are people on here purposly taking down posts. Why? Thats really really really stupid. There was nothing wrong with my posts. I hope you wind up lonely and alone.”

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Immediately after reading this, I went back and flagged it as a spam/overpost repeatedly until it got taken down. I’m such a prick.

Feb 24, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“why do men judge???” – Chicago Craigslist, 02/24/2011

women with everything you desire - and a little bit moreAge: 50
Category: Women seeking men

“What is is with you men that judge a woman by her weight???? What if she had everything else you desired but that…”

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We’re afraid that in a moment of particular sexual abandon, you might end up on top.

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