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OK, Get Serious!
Feb 20, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“I know there is a WOMAN for me !! Is it YOU pretty LADY ?!?!” – Atlanta Craigslist, 02/20/2011

enthusiastic man with fist in the air / anthony likes CAPITALSMy name is ANTHONY and I am looking for ROMANCEand MORE (Please dont ask for my name or what I am looking for when you hit me up becasue I just said it LOL)

I have a salary job, my own car, my own place, and no children. I am about 5’9 and love to have a good time.

If your interested then TEXT the number below. You can start with your name, location, and picture and we can go from there.

Seven 7 0 #### Seven 5 Seven #### 7 * * * (let’s save Anthony the embarrassment of actually publishing his number again, shall we?)

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What’s up, ANTHONY? I am SURE that there are WOMEN who love your kind of ENTHUSIASM and your predilection for CAPATALIZING. Until one of them MARRIES you and one day REALIZES that she’s married a male CHEERLEADER and wants to kick you in the BALL SAC.

Feb 14, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

Happy VD, bitches.

And when I say bitches, that is my affectionate nickname for all of you, men and women alike. Happy VD, people. As in Valentine’s Day. What did you think I meant?

Now I’m not going to say that Valentine’s Day was invented by Hallmark, like Sweetest Day was. What a sham Sweetest Day is.

Valentine’s Day is actually based on a real person, Saint Valentine, circa somewheres about 300 or 400 A.D. And the cause that Valentine’s Day was originally created for was to remember the beheading of Saint Valentine by Emperor Claudius II, who was pretty tweaked that Saint Valentine wouldn’t accept Paganism and continued to perform marriage ceremonies for Christian couples.

The point being, Valentine’s Day did not initially have a damn thing to do with love and romance. That all started with that fucker Chaucer. Now we have to “prove our love” by dropping cash at Hallmark and Fannie May. Thanks a lot, Geoffrey. If you were alive today, I’d punch you in the throat. Metaphorically speaking of course.

Enjoy your VD, everybody.

Feb 14, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“Fill In The Blanks” – Chicago Craigslist, 02/14/2011

champagne and flowers“Hi DWM 43yrs young standing 5″8 200lbs stocky built very attractive. Wondering if there is a lady who would love to partake in a real valentine fantasy. Ok here is the scenerio. We meet at a nice motel. I tell you the room number and then go to the room. Wear you find the door ajar. So you peek in and ask, Jack are you there. No answer. So you open the door further and see Flowers and champaign on the desk. So you slowly walk further and on the bed are strawberries and whip cream. Then suddenly I come up behind you and___ ___ ____ ____ ____? Fade to black. If your interested and normal get back to me. Thanks Jack XOX”

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“___ ___ ____ ____ ____” = “ask you for spelling lessons.”

Feb 12, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

10 of my favorite Craigslist Dating / Marriage / Cheating / Divorce Rants

Age: Any
Category: Some of my favorite Craigslist rants

Sometimes I just gotta give props to people who post dating, marriage, cheating and divorce raves on Craigslist. I’m sure some of them know they’re good writers, but I have a sneaking suspicion that others are simply venting for the purpose of having their significant other (or former significant other) find the ad – without ever realizing how brilliant they are, or how much someone else out here (namely yours truly) is enjoying their rants. Craigslist ad writers, this is dedicated to you, in no particular order. You’re all awesome.

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My cheating husband!!!
“Ok, so I just found out that you’ve been writing about 25 emails a day to one of your female colleagues, all signed with the words “with bated breath”. GREAT! You seem to have decided that bisexual vegetarians with questionable hair choices are more up your alley….” Read more…

Just fucking fuck me, already.
“Dear Men of Craigslist, Look, I know you men have it difficult. Women are just about impossible to understand, much less please. In a post-feminist society, you never know exactly what you should be doing. Women are bloody picky, I know we are. It can be scary, too, when women freak out about what appear to be benign issues. And men who do their best to be respectful, female-positive humans, I salute you, I do.  But please, please just fuck me already. Honestly, I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I like that you want to take things slow. I can totally get behind the idea of emotional connection, but dearjesusinheaven, FUCK ME. We’ve done dinner and drinks…” Read more…

An open letter to the men who post in Casual Encounters (Tips!)
“Dear Men of Craig?s List that post ads in the Casual Encounters section,
I?ve been observing and laughing and on the verge of vomiting, so I?d like to give you a few tips to increase your chances of scoring a casual encounter, here on Craig?s List. I?ll divide this up in sections:  Section 1: Photo tips , Section 2: General ad writing tips…” Read more…

You slept in my bed last night
“ME: A guy coming home to find you asleep in my bed.  YOU: Stunningly attractive blonde slightly undressed.” Read more…

Male Villain Seeking Female Arch-Enemy
“Howdy, I’m looking for a deadly vixen to do battle with on a weekly basis. We could meet in parks, rooftops, on the top of a moving train, on top of a moving truck, on top of anything really…” Read more…

We shared a cab, you hit me in the face.
“Hi! I am almost 100% positive you remember me. I was standing in the cab line for about 15 minutes in 1 degree weather, and then you and your girlfriend ran in front of me in the cab line right as my cab, that I had been waiting so long for out in the ball shivering cold, arrived. Now I admit…” Read more…

To the beautiful lady who saw me pooping…
“Me: Taking a huge poop in the l5p pizza bathroom. You: Drunk, beautiful, Discovered that I forgot to lock the door in my haste. Look, I know it must have been awkward for you to see me in that state…” Read more…

PDA couple, section 30 row 28
“Ah, what can I say? Your obvious affection for each other was clear, even in the miserable weather during a miserable game. But a couple thoughts. To the guy wearing the orange north face and a baseball cap…” Read more…

To the guy doing my wife at my house
“To the guy doing my wife. You know who you are. Yes I know. No I am not angry; I would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife. 1. Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old…” Read more…

Leduc Walmart Hottie
“You were a delicious BBW with a stained white t-shirt & a half a dozen kids in tow, I was…” Read more…

Feb 12, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“Why are all the men on here….” – St. Louis Craigslist, 02-09-2011

Age: 24
Category: Women seeking men

“Why is it any guy you contact on here posts that they want a LTR and want to be serious and then BAM only are trying to solicit sex? I mean, seriously? Whatever happened to being honest? Are there any nice, honest, hard working, non creepy, attractive men that want what I do? A serious relationship and marriage and kids one day? Is that so much to ask? I’m a good woman with a lot to offer and I’m completely frustrated by the men on here. Sick and creepy men who want adult baby care givers and sex slaves? Seriously? Whatever happened to chivalry and kindness and wanting to find the one to spend the rest of your life with and bring precious lives into the world with?

I’m a bigger girl, but not huge. I smoke but so what?

Okay, done venting.”

#############

Let me answer this as simply as I can.

slightly overweight and very attractive girl

2011

fat woman smoking and pushing cart

2021

Feb 6, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“I want to cheat on my wife during the Super Bowl” – Chicago Craigslist, 02/06/2011

men leering at womanAge: 32
Category: Dumbasses seeking women

“She will think that I am at my friends super bowl party…
We have a sexless marriage and it’s a sham.
Please help me out.
You won’t be disappointed: I am attractive and fun to be around…
Any woman up for the challenge?”

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What challenge is that, exactly? Spreading her legs for a scumbag while trying to avoid being killed by his wife?

Jan 28, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

Top Ten Most Popular OKGetSerious.com Posts Through 01/2011

If you just discovered this blog, it’s all about no-holds-barred reviews of – and retorts to – online dating ads. According to our server stats, here are the top 10 most popular posts since the blog was started in June 2010. You know, in case you wonder what you’ve been missing.


Here are my own personal top 10 favorites. People are nuts. They make my job easy.

Jan 28, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“WTF” – Chicago Craigslist, 01/28/2011

confused dating girlAge: 25
Category: Women seeking men

“Did I miss the memo that this site now has the sole purpose of finding someone to have sex with? What happened to old fashioned online dating, getting to know one another, and having fun? It is kind of discouraging to know that this is what it has come to…”

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Yep. Got a copy of the memo right here. Giggity.

Jan 28, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“My Mr. RIGHT !!” – Chicago Craigslist, 01/28/2011

snobby rich bitchAge: 45
Category: Women seeking men

“I would like in my best friend, someone who can be soft spoken but manly. Also a man who likes to go for long walk and takes good care of himself (works out, ect). I would like a man at least 5’10 with gray, black or brown hair, brown or green eyes, nice teeth, and Very successful …. please no blue collars here!!!!!! I enjoy a night out for a nice dinner and a movie perhaps but ultimately I love staying home and enjoying each others company. Please no smokers … I do love being intimate …. a man that is Age 49 to 59 years young… marriage being something that I see in my future. I know what I want and I want what I say so if you have these to offer then please reply…. I am 5’7, 127 lb blonde hair ,brown eyes, very attractive, well traveled and a little spoiled Well alot but very kind 😉 If you think you could be the object of my affection, I will be happy to share more of myself with you. I am looking to be discrete. Please only successful men respond …Thank you”

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I’m not sure what annoys me more: Your overuse of ellipses, your use of six exclamation points to deliver your “no blue collar guys” message, your inability to spell “discreet,” (considering “discrete” means two things that are separate, and I’m pretty sure you didn’t mean that) or your spoiled bitch attitude. Yeah, probably that last one. And why are you looking for discretion? Is your current boyfriend not buying you enough jewelry or taking you on lavish vacations, you arrogant gold-digging lowlife? Maybe if you were 25 you could pull this over on some guy who was all over the pay-to-play with a nubile young thing. But you’re 45, sister. Enjoy the rest of your life in your glitzy penthouse condo with your Persian cat and your snobby friends as your only company. Have a nice day.

Jan 24, 2011
OK Get Serious Admin

“Bored husband looking for fun” – London Craigslist, 01/24/2011

bored businessmanAge: 39
Category: Men seeking women

“Good looking professional man with great career but very boring wife needs intellectual, emotional and physical stimulation. Marriage is on the rocks, so I am looking for someone better. You should be age 25-35, attractive, slim, preferably not too tall, and most importantly interesting and educated. You can be single or married, but be aware that discretion will be required. Let’s explore London together and if we hit it off who knows? Looking forward to the most creative replies.”

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Because the lack of excitement in your life is your boring wife’s fault, not because you’re a fucking idiot.

Seriously? You’re not only advertising that you’re cheating, but you have a long list of your requirements for your mistress?

Your level of arrogance is matched only by your callousness. I hope your wife finds out and does the Wilma-Flinstone-style kick out, which will be fitting, since you’re a neanderthal.

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