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OK, Get Serious!
Jan 24, 2011
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“His Top Five Dating Fears” – eHarmony dating advice, date unknown

his top five dating fearsAge: All
Category: Broad Generalization Dating Tips
Full Article from eHarmony: http://advice.eharmony.com/dating/date-tips/his-top-five-dating-fears

“1. You’ll come between him and his friends.

2. You’ll soak up all of his free time.

3. You’ll pretend to be sane and turn out to be crazy.

4. You won’t respect him.

5. You’ll be high maintenance.

#############

Nope. Those are concerns, but he’ll be able to read a lot of it on your first couple of dates. He has only two fears.

1. You’ve got a venereal disease.

2. You’ll try to get serious before he has a chance to bone you.

Jan 22, 2011
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“happy hour? good convo” – Sacramento Craigslist, 01/21/2011

Asian Hippie GirlAge: 32
Category: Women seeking men

“Hi pretty much what the title says just seeing in anyone wants to grab a drink this evening? Or after work?

I’m a down to earth and laid back asian female.

Send a pic and tell me your favorite drink!”

#############

I’ll be ordering an “I’m-not-too-lazy-to-spell-conversation” martini.

Okay, I take that back. You had me at “Asian female.” You can say “convo” if you want to.

What? It’s my blog, I’m allowed. Oh, shut up.

Jan 22, 2011
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“nice man truefull fun” – Milwaukee Craigslist, 01/21/2011

dating moronAge: 33
Category: Men seeking women

“im open mind nice inteligent seek for my love to give all whith love inconditional im love cook camping gim sports and dance be happy outgiong i will like meet someone whith same similar values family whith like spend time together not matther what tay home whach movie or werever u up so want try # two six two (rest of number omitted to protect the criminally stupid) tex ok not man please or scam”

#############

im ith luk four inglish teetcher who hath lots pashinse.

Jan 17, 2011
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“Muscle woman looking for her nerd/geek” – Chicago Craigslist, 01/17/2011

muscular girl with weightsAge: 28
Category: Women seeking men

“sounds like it couldn’t happen? Let’s give it a try.”

#############

It will be a match made in heaven. And if you try to tell me it isn’t, I’ll step on your neck.

Jan 17, 2011
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“does love exist?” – Chicago Craigslist, 01/17/2011

Gold Digging Shallow GirlAge: Not given
Category: Casual encounters, women seeking men

“What does a girl have to do these days to get spoiled! The fact is I am NOT a gold digger, I have expectations of how I should be treated and I love being spoiled. Just that simple.I know there are men out there who love to spoil, financially and emotionally.I open to all ages and races, I just want to have FUN make you happy and be spoiled thats it!You like thin woman with dark hair and a pretty face with a great smile, who is stylish and clean.”

#############

The FACT is that you are not a gold digger? You expect to be spoiled financially in exchange for “making me happy” (and we all know what that means), so what does that make you? Oh yeah, a prostitute. What’s your address? I’ll send some boys with radios and handcuffs to “spoil” you for 6 months at a state facility.

Jan 2, 2011
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The True Meaning of Cuddling (from a Male Perspective)

I just read the following ad, which follows the theme of many, many ads that I see in the “Men Seeking Women” sections of dating sites:

“It would be fun to spend the night with someone in my warm comfy condo cuddling and enjoying each other’s company. Me – swm, 6’1, good looking, clean-cut, easy going, fun to be with. ”

Baby, if you love me you'll let me put it in your butt....

Ladies, let’s get something straight. There is no man who is legitimately advertising for cuddling. They are saying this to appear safe. And because they think you want to hear it, and that you’ll somehow think it’s sensitive or cute. Every single one of these guys wants to fuck you raw.

I’m not saying this is a bad thing; just remember the following rule: In every ad that you see “cuddle” or “cuddling,” simply replace those words with “fuck” and “fucking” and you’ve got what the guy’s after. If that’s what you want too, more power to you, and go for it. That is, if you’re okay with the lying liar lying to you because he’s just that hot. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Any guy who even makes the slightest attempt to dispute this with you is doing so because he wants you to “cuddle” with him until he gets a blowjob.

Dec 30, 2010
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“She fantasizes about being your bad girl, your very very bad girl” – Examiner Seattle Dating Advice, 04/29/2010

frying pan smackdownAge: Not given
Category: Dating Advice
Source: http://www.examiner.com/dating-advice-in-seattle/she-fantasizes-about-being-your-bad-girl-very-very-bad-girl

I won’t re-post the whole article, but here are the 4 steps that Examiner says you need to take in order to turn your girlfriend or wife into that bad girl you want.

1. Make it a habit to compliment her on a daily basis.
2. Buy her lingerie she normally wouldn’t buy herself.
3. Become her workout partner.
4. Make efforts to have spontaneous sex outside the bedroom.

#############

If I constantly shower her with compliments, buy her latex underwear, follow her to the gym every day to work out with her, and try to bone her in the bathroom at Wendy’s…I’m pretty sure her first reaction will be to get a restraining order.

Dec 30, 2010
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“Piss on my face!” – Chicago Craigslist, 12/30/2010

Age: 30
Category: Miscellaneous romance / men seeking women

“I want a hot vixen to squat over my mouth and let her hot steamy piss gush down my throat.

Can you help me with my fantasy?

pic for pic. put “shower” in subject line to ensure a response.”

#############

Vixen the Face-Peeing Reindeer

SUBJECT:
shower

TO:
MyNewStud@craigslist

MESSAGE:
I am SO into that, you delicious, delicious man. Let’s make it happen tonight.

~ Eagerly yours,
Vixen

Dec 29, 2010
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“i need a cat lover!” – Las Vegas Craigslist, 12/28/2010

party cat

Age: 19
Category: Women seeking men
“Hello! My name is Effie and i am a wild and crazy cat lover that loves music and movies and models lol
Hopefully you will know the show Criminal Minds bc thats my favorite show and Matthew Grey Gubler is just such a sweet prince so if you look like him plz email me and if you dont, well i guess you still can ;}

send me ur pix and u may just receive one of me”

#############

Okay, I’m going to cut you some slack, young lady, since you’re still 19 and stupid. But trust me, “wild and crazy” and “cat lover” do NOT go together. You have red-flagged yourself to all men. But this guy will still go out with you.

Dec 29, 2010
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“I am not picky Any female will do” – Las Vegas Craigslist, 12/28/2010

Hairy Italian guy with huge cross on a gold chainAge: Not given
Category: Men seeking women

“I’m not picky I don’t care what you look like or what you do I don’t care if you date 10 other guys a week just when your with me Be nice

It’s my daughter and I in the recent photo she cam to see her pop on Christmas

Italian decsent 5 foot eleven blue eyes financially secure”

#############

Way to show your daughter what you think about yourself and about women. Hope you’re planning to pay her soon-to-be-massive therapy bills with that money.

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