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OK, Get Serious!
Dec 26, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Need to talk . .” – Philadelphia Craigslist, 12/26/2010

birds prevent a cat suicideAge: Not given
Category: Men Seeking Women

“I am very depressed today! I need to talk with a compassionate woman..

I am at the end of my rope. I need a friend before it is too late..”

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Because nothing says “He’s a catch” quite like you actually needing to do so when I dive off this ledge.

Dec 19, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“I’m panicking and need some advice? Please help?!?” – Relationship Blog, 12/19/2010

guy brushing his teethAge: Not Given
Category: Girly Men with Girlfriends

“I’ve had a long line of controlling relationships. I was single for over a year and did a lot of self-esteem work. About a year and a half ago I began dating someone new again. Things have going faboulsy and she seems so diffrenite than anyone else I’ve ever dated. Very caring. Last night an interaction occured that struck a cord and has got me thinking. She went upstairs and I stayed down to wash my face. She hollared down “you better not be brushing your teeth” (cause than she feels guilty for not brushing hers). I joked back that I was and her repsonse was “than your not getting any”. I thought she was joking but when I got upstairs she acted mad at me. I told her I hadn’t brushed my teeth and she was still angry, wouldn’t even look at me and kept reading her nightly book. When she shut her light off and layed down I rolled over to give her a kiss goodnight and she simply lay there and let my lips touch hers (no kiss back).I wasn’t looking to “get any” but she was actually mad me. She was also really quite and wierd on the way to work. Kind of snippy with me. The whole thing has freaked me out a bit and I plan to talk to her tongiht about it. But I just wanted to get a feel from you..do you find the whole interaction starnge? Maybe a red flag?”

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This was posted on my friend’s website, The Relationship Blog. To see the answers he got (including mine), you’ll need to visit The Relationship Blog. Let’s put it this way…there’s a lot of advice about how to be patient with her, read the signals, talk to her, let her cool off, etc…none of which is mine. I’m not known for my political correctness.

Dec 19, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“searchin 4 my better half….is it u?” – Houston Craigslist, 12/19/2010

Spelling DunceAge: 22
Category: Men Seeking Women

“im 5″8 caucausian. with a athletic build. looking for a real women who knws just wat there lookin 4. who has ambitions and goals. im a very laidback at tha same time active. love the outdoors and just enjoying tha small things. can b very romantic and spontanious, if given that chance…. u only live once so why not be tha best u can b and give your best and all. want that myself in return sumday. if interested hit me up. pics uh plus”

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You, sir, have pushed me over the edge of my relative grammatical ambivalence. While I’m kind of a word nerd, I’m willing to let some spelling errors fly. But then I saw your post. You have both been the catalyst for, and have won, the first ever OKGetSerious.com Horrendous Spelling award.

What’s a caucausian? A kid who was raised by crows?

Why are you looking for A real WOMEN? You are either looking for real women, or you are looking for A real WOMAN. Tha? Uh? Sumday? Knws? Wat? U? Best U can B? “A” athletic build? Wat ‘there’ lookin 4?

I wonder what the OK Get Serious “Bad Speller of the Week” award should look like. I’m open to suggestions. Ideas anyone? I’m thinking a penis with a dunce cap, but then I don’t want to ignore the poor-spelling ladies either. It’s just usually the guys.

Dec 19, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“i need dating tips!!!!?” – FreeOnlineDatingForYou.com, 12/19/2010

Age: High School
Category: Girls Seeking Boys

“i just started dating this senior guy and hes really the first guy ive “dated” and i need tips. hes very experienced and i am definitely not. please help me with any dating advice or whateverrrrr thanks
im a sophomore
hes a senior
were both in highschool”

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Blowjob.

Dec 16, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“why am i missing my girlfriend so much and why am i so emotional about this?” – Relationship Blog, 12/16/2010

NOTE FROM YOUR FRIENDLY SITE ADMIN: The author of this blog is a friend of mine on Twitter. Her blog is actually pretty good, and you should read it: www.relationships-blog.net. I love the blog and this content is hers; I’m simply snarking about the guy who posted the question.

Age: 26
Category: Men About to Lose Women

“My girlfriend has been staying with me at my house for about a week now.she left earlier tonight cause she had to work.I live in NYC and she lives in delaware.Im gonna really miss her.we both have cried together more than once cause we know we gonna miss each other.

I don’t know how I’m sleep tonight without her being next to me.I’m gonna miss her so much cause I got used to her being here with me.

How do I stop myself from being sad until she comes back again? We only been together for a few months but we love each other and we usually talk on the phone constantly when she not here.

Im 26 and she 20.why am I so emotional and sad about this?I also was like this with my last ex girlfriend who i was with for 2 years

I have no idea how I’m sleep tonight without her being her.I just love beig around her and don’t want her to leave but she had too cause she gotta work”

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Hey bud, let’s address the problems one at a time, shall we?

1. Have you heard of verb tense or contractions? Repeat after me:

“We are going to,” “We’re going to…”
“We have only been,” “We’ve only been…”
“She has to work,” “She will have to work,” “She’s going to work.”

2. I’ll tell you what the reasons are. You’re 26 going on 15, you’re needy and attached like a barnacle to this girl, and if you can’t sleep without her there I’m going to go out on a limb and say you have mommy issues. Take a freaking Ambien and go get a hobby, my friend. She’ll stick around longer.

Dec 16, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

Apartment Living

Just a quick note from yours truly. Started the day surly (who, me?) because not only had the upstairs tenants used all the hot water this morning, but they flushed the toilet repeatedly while I was in the shower, taking the water stream from “tepid and moderate” to “ice cold and trickle.”

There is also a hole in my bathroom ceiling from previous water damage where the seal around their toilet leaked. It’s supposed to be repaired soon, but I have a better idea.

I’m considering installing a motion-sensor-triggered device which slaps these two upside the head every time they flush when my shower is on.

Dec 13, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Turn Your Love Life Around in 3 Steps” – Matchmaker.com Newsletter, 08/16/2010

Age: Not Given
Category: Inane

This is a fairly long article, located here: http://www.date.info/turn-your-love-life-around-in-3-steps/.

Basically, the 3 steps they mention are as follows:

1. Recognize the negative relationship patterns you keep repeating.
2. Avoid “all or nothing” thinking.
3. Don’t just fix the symptoms, develop a more holistic approach.

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Forget those steps, here’s a 3 step program that you can really work with.

1. Stop being a douche.
2. When in doubt, see rule #1.
3. For good measure, see rules #1 and #2.

Dec 10, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Looking” – Seattle Craigslist, 12/10/2010

Age: 20
Category: Men Seeking Women

“I am looking for some one to talk to. I am a english student and a writer. Please do not send me a dating add be a real person”

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Keep studying, buddy.

Dec 10, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“lets have a baby” – Seattle Craigslist, 12/09/2010

Age: 35
Category: Men Seeking Women

“i’m single, no kids, 35.
i’m looking to have a baby.
i’m black, stable and would like to have a baby without the romantic attachments.
your race does not matter”

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Dude, if the baby is your primary motivation, it’s called adoption. If you’re looking for no-strings sex just come out and say it. And I mean God forbid that the child could actually have two parents in a relationship or actually living together, there’s a stretch.

Dec 8, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“I just don’t know exactly what I want” – Los Angeles Craigslist, 12/08/2010

Age: 49
Category: Women Seeking Men

“You know how – you want or crave something, but you just can’t quiet pin point exactly who and what it is ?
That’s what I want !!!
I want a sweet and naughty, a good and a bad boy and a gentleman and wild and a nice overall guy !!!
To match my personality !!!”

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I have three responses:

1. If you’re 49 and you can’t figure out what you want, you’ve got bigger problems than getting a man.

2. It looks to me like you DO know what you want. A total schizo.

3. Match your personality? Which one, Sybil?

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