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OK, Get Serious!
Oct 31, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“i am here for serious relationship” – Chicago Craigslist, 10/31/2010

Age: 30
Category: Women Seeking Men

“Looking for a serious long term relationship with someone who possesses strong character and is goal-oriented. He must love the Lord with all of his heart,then I know he will love me with all his heart.”

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Right, because every guy who loves the LAWD with all of his heart has that kind of love for his significant other. I mean, just look at Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart and Ted Haggard.

Oct 31, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Seriously, this is it?” – Chicago Craigslist (Northwest Indiana), 10/31/2010

Snobby Girls

Age: 25
Category: Women Seeking Men

“I know that I am a great girl. I am tired of wasting my time. I am wanting to find someone that is caring, a hard worker, funny, outgoing, attractive, that doesn’t live 100 miles away. Must be single and white between the ages of 27 to 33. I am not really into partying, so if this is your thing don’t bother. If you don’t have a job or any prospects don’t bother either. Email me, and we will see.”

#############

Hey, if you don’t want a good guy to live 100 miles away, I have an idea for you. How about NOT MOVING TO FREAKING NORTHWEST INDIANA?

So, let’s see…you have a “between 27 and 33” age requirement, the guy has to be white bread, can’t like to party and needs to have a great job, presumably to support your arrogant ass.

“Email me and we will see”……..? Seriously? You THINK you are a great girl. You are the epitome of high maintenance bitchiness, capital HMB. You’re not interviewing lackies for some remedial job, you’re trying to find someone with whom to build a relationship. With an attitude like yours, you better hope for a self-loathing, subservient wussbag. There’s a thought…ever consider the dominatrix lifestyle? It sounds like your calling.

Oct 19, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Hummmm” – Minneapolois Craigslist, 10/20/2010

Age: 39
Category: Men Seeking Women

“Here i am” (accompanied by 3 pics of an average looking dude in Minnesota Twins garb)

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Hummmm…so the fuck what?

Oct 19, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Christian guys ONLY :)” – Minneapolis Craigslist, 10/20/2010

Age: 25
Category: Women Seeking Men

“’m just trying to make friends (for now it is enough). I don’t know why it is so hard to find somebody really cool, Christian, and with morals- it is so sad …
OK, as you notice I’m 25
– Christian ( I accepted Jesus as a savior!)
– Student
– Love my friends and spend time with them
– I am really chatty (sometimes toooo chatty, lol)
– Trying to go once or twice a year to the missionary trip. Just love it!!!!!!!!!
What else,,,,,,,, just send me email, if you have any question!”

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I just want to be friends and talk about Jesus. A lot. And I love missionary trips, which is appropriate, because if we do end up dating the missionary position is all you’re getting, and only when we plan to make babies.

Oct 19, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Pee?” – Chicago Craigslist, 10/20/2010

Age: 25
Category: Men Seeking Women

“Do you want to pee on me, or can i pee on you? ive always wanted to try, why not with you?

i know you want to too….

let me know you are real and i will send you a pic. 6’3 white guy here, looking for a SWF”

#############

If the relationship starts like this, it’s hard to imagine it ever having a lower point, so maybe it’s worth a shot. The hell with all the fun, excitement, crazy endorphins, dopamine and intoxication associated with new relationships. They’re going to go south at some point anyway. Nowhere but up to go with this guy. This could be a “golden” opportunity for you single women out there.

Sep 27, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

Dear female online dater…

This is a note from us men about your online dating profiles. While we appreciate seeing pictures of you with your friends, please keep in mind that we might think you’re cute. Right? I mean after all, that’s at least part of the point.

So – why do you go to such lengths to post pics of you with your demonstrably hotter friends? This happens more times than you would imagine.

There is no good result of this behavior. It will make us want to ask you how to contact your hotter friend(s), and not wanting to be complete asshats, we are not going to do this.

It will also prevent us from contacting you because we already know that even if we like you, once your friend is in the room/bar/theater/car with us we’re in serious trouble. Whether she is interested in us or not is irrelevant. The fact that she is in the same room with us is going to be a disaster because we don’t want to hurt you, yet we’re going to be thinking about nailing her.

If we can foresee that situation based on your pictures, we’re not going to contact you. Now, it may happen anyway, but we’re not going to knowingly jump into that situation.

Unless you’re both bi and want a threesome. Then forget everything I just said.

Sep 25, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

Not that I want to play matchmaker, but…

…is it just me, or should this guy and this girl get together?

Sep 25, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“Be crazy please, please no normal people” – Chicago Craigslist, 09/24/2010

Age: 23
Category: Men Seeking Women

“Give me a girl who dreams vivid dreams.
Who is just mad, crazy, sensitive and abnormal.
Give me a girl who loves and hates with the same intensity.
Smack me, hit me, cry at me, do what ever you want to me,
but I will always be there. I will never cheat on you, never say you are too much,
never say that your emotions are too whack in fact I encourage that craziness to continue.
I am the type of person who’d never leave. Be intense be crazy, please. “

#############

I have no self worth now, and a massive therapy bill later.

Sep 25, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“I want a controlling guy/relationship” – Chicago Craigslist, 09/24/2010

Age: 23
Category: Women Seeking Men

“Yeah. I’m serious. I want a controlling guy.

Someone who wants to know where I am all the time, we text/call eachother constantly, tell me what to wear, what to eat,punish me,spoil me,etc. Pretty much anything. I just want to be everything for you, make you happy, and you do the same. Some people will think its weird, but if you’re that kind of a guy you’ll know what I mean.

Only mobile,under 23, and attractice [HWP] guys reply
race doesn’t matter and shouldnt to you too

PIC4PIC”

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I have daddy issues and I just can’t WAIT to hate the rest of my life.

Sep 20, 2010
OK Get Serious Admin

“MWF seeking MWM” – Chicago Craigslist, 09/20/2010

Age: 46
Category: Women Seeking Men

“I am a married white female who was hoping by now to have found a cute and confident guy for some adventurous fun. What we share would be discreet and mostly casual, but build around a genuine friendship. It’s better that way.

I am not unhappy nor unfulfilled… Just seeking something fresh and exciting. If you don’t understand this, we probably would not be a good match.”

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I’m not unhappy or unfulfilled, I just think “vow” is a silly word and I want someone new to bang me. If you don’t understand this, welcome to the 21st century, my Tiger-esque hunk of man meat.

Feed Miss Milky

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